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BtVS: Mission X (6/?) - Riley/Willow - FRT-13/PG-13 (will be FRAO/NC-17 later)
Title: Mission X (6/?)
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Co. own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t.
Pairing: Willow/Riley
Word Count: 1543
Overall Rating/Warnings: FRT-13/PG-13 (will be FRAO/NC-17 in later chapters); language, angst, drama, violence, het sex, sexual innuendo.
Setting: AU! Season 6. Parts of this story come from the established canon plot lines and others are my own desire to twist things my way.
Summary: When Riley comes back to Sunnydale, he stays for a reason that’s not Buffy.
Beta: the sweet Gabrielle and the quirky![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
angelskuuipo.
Previous Chapters
It was sort of funny how, just minutes ago, Willow had been insisting that they tell people about what they were doing. That they wouldn’t keep this secret from anyone. And now, at this very moment, the cat was out of the bag, streaking out the front door, and scampering down the sidewalk.
Willow wanted nothing more to find the darn thing, lock it up, and throw away the key.
She couldn’t escape the sensation of her body being frozen in place. Her lips behaved as if they couldn’t move from Riley’s, her feet seemed encased with cement. There was no movement she could make to escape her position, no matter how much she might want to.
But she didn’t want to after all, because she didn’t want to turn around and see the pain and betrayal that would inevitably be etched on Tara’s face. Looking at Tara would be the needle that popped this fragile bubble. Looking at Tara would make her heart ache and hurt with the knowledge of love lost. Looking at Tara would mean that their once breathtakingly amazing relationship would be 100% over.
Willow’s inertia gave Riley the task of breaking contact, and based on his current position facing the back door, also gave him the best view of the confusion and sadness swimming in Tara’s soft, gentle eyes.
Tara clearly wasn’t in the mood to let him look for long because as soon as she realized that the attention had been switched over to her, she averted her gaze to the linoleum floor. Riley imagined she was probably trying to replace the image of Willow in the embrace of another with an image of the speckled designs that artfully hid the crumbs from breakfast that still needed to be swept up.
“I…I…” Tara stuttered, hesitantly pushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. “I came to pick up Dawnie. We’re going to the library today…because I promised her I’d help her with her English homework. I…I thought it would just be easier to use the back door…because I didn’t want to be a bother to anyone…And there’s a key…there’s a spare key in the flower pot with the little fisherman sitting on top…”
“Tara…” Willow started, her voice wavering slightly, as she nervously picked at the bread she hadn’t toasted yet. The simple solution would be to just not talk about the elephant in the room, the way her mother had always taught her, and just go get Dawnie from the living room, but she knew better than that. Channeling her mother would be the absolutely wrong road to take.
This wasn’t the first time she’d fluked, after all, nor was it the first time she’d gone and ruined a whole relationship because she couldn’t keep her hands to herself. Yes, she and Tara were technically separated right now so there wasn’t anything keeping them bound together. And it wasn’t like they were in a warehouse where Tara could fall through a decrepit staircase and spear herself like a kabob the same way Cordelia did when she’d been caught making out with Xander. But guilt was twisting the feelings she had for Riley into something that felt like fluking and felt like cheating and there was no excuse that could help her escape that.
Years of having Cordelia hate her guts made her very aware that there was no non-magical solution that would make this end in a big group hug. There was also no magical solution either, considering how bad her last romp with Lethe’s Bramble went. Even if she could alter Tara’s memory about what she’d just seen, it wouldn’t do any good. It was that spell that sent Tara packing and even if it did work, someone else would just spill the beans about this new relationship with Riley and Willow would have to go through this agonizing experience all over again. It would be loads better to just suck it up and nip the vicious cycle in the bud before it really had the chance to get started.
Biting down on her lower lip, Tara lifted her head slightly, broke the silence, and spoke with uncertainty lacing her voice. “Please…please don’t make me say something, ‘cause I don’t know where I’d even begin.”
Willow’s heart tightened inside her chest and she drew in a sharp, stinging breath. “Tara, please don’t see this as me navigating my way to back to boy’s town. I mean, I know that’s what it looks like but it’s...”
Crap.
Willow knew that telling Tara the true reason she’d decided to take this chance with Riley would break Tara’s heart even more. Telling Tara that Riley wanted to accept her for everything she was without compromise would be just like pushing Tara into the same cold, damp hole Cordelia fell through and laughing manically when the blood started shooting up from the open wound.
“He…he cares about you?” Tara offered quietly, stealing the thought right from Willow’s brain. “I know he’s been helping you deal with the magic stuff. I remember you mentioned that at Xander and Anya’s wedding.”
Willow’s forehead creased, almost wishing that Tara would be more stand-offish or more pissed off. Not that she’d ever heard Tara raise her voice to anyone, but her meekness in this situation was making it that much harder to deal with.
She took a breath, worried when she couldn’t spot Riley immediately, but then suddenly, felt his presence behind her, strong and considerate. He wasn’t touching her but he could if he wanted to. It would be easy for him to just reach out and subtly brush his fingers over her knuckles or weave their fingers together.
But she silently sent a prayer up the Goddess that he wouldn’t, because she didn’t want to hurt Tara any more than she already had and hand-holding was basically equivalent to rubbing Tara’s face in it.
“He does,” Willow replied carefully. As this hadn’t reached an ending yet, there were still eggshells to be walked on and there was still the wondering of how many answers would need to be provided before it did.
Nodding, Tara’s eyes drifted over to Riley as if she wanted to see his face prove the truth of Willow’s statement. Willow didn’t dare turn around to see if Riley was doing what Tara wanted him to do. She didn’t want him to fail the test because she couldn’t keep her eyes to herself.
“Do you?” Tara asked, bringing Riley into the conversation with a simple question. “Do you care about her?”
Willow held her breath as she waited for Riley to reply. She wanted to trust that he would say he did, because why else would he have made such a lovely speech about accepting her for the way she was? But she’d already broken Tara’s trust today so karma had every right to be a vicious, sadistic bitch.
“Of course I do,” Riley said calmly.
“Good,” Tara replied, swallowing down the hurt as she gradually started to move towards the living room. “She…she deserves that.”
Willow’s heart ached as she realized the underlying meaning of Tara’s words. This was her way of letting go. Her way of giving them permission to keep going with this.
If you love somebody, set them free…
Neither Willow nor Riley wanted to break the silence after Tara was out of sight. Instead, they just listened to the sounds of the television set being shut off and the petulant moaning of Dawn trying to convince Tara that the malt shop would be a much better place to tutor her.
But Tara was a far better negotiator than Dawn and she’d managed to convince the teen that for every hour she spent studying at the library, she could get one scoop of ice cream afterwards. With that, the front door opened and closed, and the house was theirs again. Well, mostly theirs. To the best of Willow’s knowledge, Buffy was passed out cold in her bedroom upstairs but it would be hours before she joined the living.
The first tear appeared quickly, sliding down her cheek, and leaving a warm, damp trail in its wake. As much as she wanted to wipe it away, or hold the rest back to keep Riley from seeing them, she couldn’t do it. Unlike the day she chose Tara over Oz, she didn’t have a candle to offer Riley. She didn’t have a match to light a new flame. She didn’t have the wherewithal to banish away the darkness.
She could only offer him her tears and the trust she had in herself that this was still the right choice for her. She wished she could give him more than that, but this was what she could do.
Riley didn’t question her emotion, didn’t press her for more details. Instead, he just wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her in a reassuring embrace. If Willow wanted every one of her friends to know about this, then he would be there at her back, he would protect her from any artillery fire that aimed in their direction.
Because that’s what soldiers did. That’s what Riley did.
And until the world said otherwise, they were in this together.
Chapter 7
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Co. own the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t.
Pairing: Willow/Riley
Word Count: 1543
Overall Rating/Warnings: FRT-13/PG-13 (will be FRAO/NC-17 in later chapters); language, angst, drama, violence, het sex, sexual innuendo.
Setting: AU! Season 6. Parts of this story come from the established canon plot lines and others are my own desire to twist things my way.
Summary: When Riley comes back to Sunnydale, he stays for a reason that’s not Buffy.
Beta: the sweet Gabrielle and the quirky
angelskuuipo.Previous Chapters
It was sort of funny how, just minutes ago, Willow had been insisting that they tell people about what they were doing. That they wouldn’t keep this secret from anyone. And now, at this very moment, the cat was out of the bag, streaking out the front door, and scampering down the sidewalk.
Willow wanted nothing more to find the darn thing, lock it up, and throw away the key.
She couldn’t escape the sensation of her body being frozen in place. Her lips behaved as if they couldn’t move from Riley’s, her feet seemed encased with cement. There was no movement she could make to escape her position, no matter how much she might want to.
But she didn’t want to after all, because she didn’t want to turn around and see the pain and betrayal that would inevitably be etched on Tara’s face. Looking at Tara would be the needle that popped this fragile bubble. Looking at Tara would make her heart ache and hurt with the knowledge of love lost. Looking at Tara would mean that their once breathtakingly amazing relationship would be 100% over.
Willow’s inertia gave Riley the task of breaking contact, and based on his current position facing the back door, also gave him the best view of the confusion and sadness swimming in Tara’s soft, gentle eyes.
Tara clearly wasn’t in the mood to let him look for long because as soon as she realized that the attention had been switched over to her, she averted her gaze to the linoleum floor. Riley imagined she was probably trying to replace the image of Willow in the embrace of another with an image of the speckled designs that artfully hid the crumbs from breakfast that still needed to be swept up.
“I…I…” Tara stuttered, hesitantly pushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. “I came to pick up Dawnie. We’re going to the library today…because I promised her I’d help her with her English homework. I…I thought it would just be easier to use the back door…because I didn’t want to be a bother to anyone…And there’s a key…there’s a spare key in the flower pot with the little fisherman sitting on top…”
“Tara…” Willow started, her voice wavering slightly, as she nervously picked at the bread she hadn’t toasted yet. The simple solution would be to just not talk about the elephant in the room, the way her mother had always taught her, and just go get Dawnie from the living room, but she knew better than that. Channeling her mother would be the absolutely wrong road to take.
This wasn’t the first time she’d fluked, after all, nor was it the first time she’d gone and ruined a whole relationship because she couldn’t keep her hands to herself. Yes, she and Tara were technically separated right now so there wasn’t anything keeping them bound together. And it wasn’t like they were in a warehouse where Tara could fall through a decrepit staircase and spear herself like a kabob the same way Cordelia did when she’d been caught making out with Xander. But guilt was twisting the feelings she had for Riley into something that felt like fluking and felt like cheating and there was no excuse that could help her escape that.
Years of having Cordelia hate her guts made her very aware that there was no non-magical solution that would make this end in a big group hug. There was also no magical solution either, considering how bad her last romp with Lethe’s Bramble went. Even if she could alter Tara’s memory about what she’d just seen, it wouldn’t do any good. It was that spell that sent Tara packing and even if it did work, someone else would just spill the beans about this new relationship with Riley and Willow would have to go through this agonizing experience all over again. It would be loads better to just suck it up and nip the vicious cycle in the bud before it really had the chance to get started.
Biting down on her lower lip, Tara lifted her head slightly, broke the silence, and spoke with uncertainty lacing her voice. “Please…please don’t make me say something, ‘cause I don’t know where I’d even begin.”
Willow’s heart tightened inside her chest and she drew in a sharp, stinging breath. “Tara, please don’t see this as me navigating my way to back to boy’s town. I mean, I know that’s what it looks like but it’s...”
Crap.
Willow knew that telling Tara the true reason she’d decided to take this chance with Riley would break Tara’s heart even more. Telling Tara that Riley wanted to accept her for everything she was without compromise would be just like pushing Tara into the same cold, damp hole Cordelia fell through and laughing manically when the blood started shooting up from the open wound.
“He…he cares about you?” Tara offered quietly, stealing the thought right from Willow’s brain. “I know he’s been helping you deal with the magic stuff. I remember you mentioned that at Xander and Anya’s wedding.”
Willow’s forehead creased, almost wishing that Tara would be more stand-offish or more pissed off. Not that she’d ever heard Tara raise her voice to anyone, but her meekness in this situation was making it that much harder to deal with.
She took a breath, worried when she couldn’t spot Riley immediately, but then suddenly, felt his presence behind her, strong and considerate. He wasn’t touching her but he could if he wanted to. It would be easy for him to just reach out and subtly brush his fingers over her knuckles or weave their fingers together.
But she silently sent a prayer up the Goddess that he wouldn’t, because she didn’t want to hurt Tara any more than she already had and hand-holding was basically equivalent to rubbing Tara’s face in it.
“He does,” Willow replied carefully. As this hadn’t reached an ending yet, there were still eggshells to be walked on and there was still the wondering of how many answers would need to be provided before it did.
Nodding, Tara’s eyes drifted over to Riley as if she wanted to see his face prove the truth of Willow’s statement. Willow didn’t dare turn around to see if Riley was doing what Tara wanted him to do. She didn’t want him to fail the test because she couldn’t keep her eyes to herself.
“Do you?” Tara asked, bringing Riley into the conversation with a simple question. “Do you care about her?”
Willow held her breath as she waited for Riley to reply. She wanted to trust that he would say he did, because why else would he have made such a lovely speech about accepting her for the way she was? But she’d already broken Tara’s trust today so karma had every right to be a vicious, sadistic bitch.
“Of course I do,” Riley said calmly.
“Good,” Tara replied, swallowing down the hurt as she gradually started to move towards the living room. “She…she deserves that.”
Willow’s heart ached as she realized the underlying meaning of Tara’s words. This was her way of letting go. Her way of giving them permission to keep going with this.
If you love somebody, set them free…
Neither Willow nor Riley wanted to break the silence after Tara was out of sight. Instead, they just listened to the sounds of the television set being shut off and the petulant moaning of Dawn trying to convince Tara that the malt shop would be a much better place to tutor her.
But Tara was a far better negotiator than Dawn and she’d managed to convince the teen that for every hour she spent studying at the library, she could get one scoop of ice cream afterwards. With that, the front door opened and closed, and the house was theirs again. Well, mostly theirs. To the best of Willow’s knowledge, Buffy was passed out cold in her bedroom upstairs but it would be hours before she joined the living.
The first tear appeared quickly, sliding down her cheek, and leaving a warm, damp trail in its wake. As much as she wanted to wipe it away, or hold the rest back to keep Riley from seeing them, she couldn’t do it. Unlike the day she chose Tara over Oz, she didn’t have a candle to offer Riley. She didn’t have a match to light a new flame. She didn’t have the wherewithal to banish away the darkness.
She could only offer him her tears and the trust she had in herself that this was still the right choice for her. She wished she could give him more than that, but this was what she could do.
Riley didn’t question her emotion, didn’t press her for more details. Instead, he just wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her in a reassuring embrace. If Willow wanted every one of her friends to know about this, then he would be there at her back, he would protect her from any artillery fire that aimed in their direction.
Because that’s what soldiers did. That’s what Riley did.
And until the world said otherwise, they were in this together.
Chapter 7
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Gabrielle
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*hugs*
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I certainly was waffling between Buffy and Tara but I think I may the right choice in the end.
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So much angst! I'm gonna go cry in the corner until everything gets better.
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I needed to make it a little angsty.
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I can't make words right now because I'm with Willow. That was beautiful, doll.
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Thank you.
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It was a tough scene to write.
But I wanted Willow to have some sense that she had Tara's "blessing."