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snoggedI felt a bit broken-hearted after tonight's episode ("Benefits") and needed to cheer myself up.
Title: Feelings Hour
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Barney/Lily/Marshall, implied Barney/Robin
Word Count: 567
Rating: FRM/R; m/f kissing, m/m kissing, adult language, and implied threesomes
Summary: Lily and Marshall want to help Barney through his feelings.
Spoilers: Post- Episode 4.12 “Benefits”
A/N: This probably would never fit into canon in the traditional sense. But it’s fun to play.
Lily curled her legs underneath her and tilted her neck, making the muscles stretch and crackle. It was the Tuesday night after Barney had been officially shot down by Robin. And her Dowisetreplan apartment smelled like single-malt scotch and a pussy ass man.
“Lily, I don’t need to be here. I’m so over it. Beyond over it. I’m so over it that the cow jumping over the moon is impressed by my distance,” Barney whined, clearly ignoring the fact that he was clutching a plushy couch pillow as if it were the feelings share bear.
Lily narrowed her eyes and glanced at Marshall, who was sitting next to Barney and doing his best to appear interested in his wife’s current plan.
“You are not over Robin, Barney.” Marshall replied. “And that’s why we’re having this feelings hour thing.”
“Well, that, and I want him to stay the fuck away from my kindergartners,” Lily said, exasperation creeping into her tone.
“Okay, okay,” Barney said, throwing his arms above his head in surrender. “You both know I have feelings for Robin. Robin doesn’t return the favor. End of story. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy a new TV.” He focused on the small TV across from the couch and he felt the sudden urge to smash it to pieces. “Unless you want me to take that one off your hands.”
Lily shook her head. “No, Barney. You are not getting our TV. You are going to sit here and you’re going to talk about your feelings and you’re going to like it.”
Barney sighed and squeezed his eyes shut for three seconds longer than the average blink. Yes, he loved Robin. She was the woman of his dreams. She was also the first woman who had ever taken his heart, squished it between her fingers, and spat on it. “Lily, I can’t…”
Lily rose from the floor and sat down on Barney’s other side. A playful smile crinkled in the corners of her lips as she realized that her and Marshall were the bread on a Barnacle sandwich. From the look of lust growing behind Barney’s eyes, she was realizing that he had noticed this new arrangement too. “Barney, it’s going to be o-“
But she didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence. His lips were already on hers, eager and desperate, clinging to the cheap notion that physical contact would heal him in the way it always had.
“Hey!” Marshall cried indignantly. “That’s my wife you’re kissing.”
Barney pulled his head away and exhaled sharply. “Are you jealous?”
Marshall gulped and nodded his head, still trying to wrap his head around the possibility that he was going to ride the tricycle. Granted, it would be with Barney but Barney’s sexual prowess was known throughout New York so if it there had to be a dude, then Barney was his best choice.
Barney closed his eyes and leaned towards Marshall, brushing their lips together. If he was going to do this, he would at least honor the Bro Code and not make eye contact in a Devil’s Three-way.
Lily gasped, surprised and turned-on by the sight unfolding in front of her. Suddenly, the room felt too damn hot and her clothes felt too damn tight.
“Fuck, feelings hour. Everyone in the bedroom. Now!”
Thankfully, for Lily, the boys listened better than her kindergartners did.
Title: Feelings Hour
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Barney/Lily/Marshall, implied Barney/Robin
Word Count: 567
Rating: FRM/R; m/f kissing, m/m kissing, adult language, and implied threesomes
Summary: Lily and Marshall want to help Barney through his feelings.
Spoilers: Post- Episode 4.12 “Benefits”
A/N: This probably would never fit into canon in the traditional sense. But it’s fun to play.
Lily curled her legs underneath her and tilted her neck, making the muscles stretch and crackle. It was the Tuesday night after Barney had been officially shot down by Robin. And her Dowisetreplan apartment smelled like single-malt scotch and a pussy ass man.
“Lily, I don’t need to be here. I’m so over it. Beyond over it. I’m so over it that the cow jumping over the moon is impressed by my distance,” Barney whined, clearly ignoring the fact that he was clutching a plushy couch pillow as if it were the feelings share bear.
Lily narrowed her eyes and glanced at Marshall, who was sitting next to Barney and doing his best to appear interested in his wife’s current plan.
“You are not over Robin, Barney.” Marshall replied. “And that’s why we’re having this feelings hour thing.”
“Well, that, and I want him to stay the fuck away from my kindergartners,” Lily said, exasperation creeping into her tone.
“Okay, okay,” Barney said, throwing his arms above his head in surrender. “You both know I have feelings for Robin. Robin doesn’t return the favor. End of story. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy a new TV.” He focused on the small TV across from the couch and he felt the sudden urge to smash it to pieces. “Unless you want me to take that one off your hands.”
Lily shook her head. “No, Barney. You are not getting our TV. You are going to sit here and you’re going to talk about your feelings and you’re going to like it.”
Barney sighed and squeezed his eyes shut for three seconds longer than the average blink. Yes, he loved Robin. She was the woman of his dreams. She was also the first woman who had ever taken his heart, squished it between her fingers, and spat on it. “Lily, I can’t…”
Lily rose from the floor and sat down on Barney’s other side. A playful smile crinkled in the corners of her lips as she realized that her and Marshall were the bread on a Barnacle sandwich. From the look of lust growing behind Barney’s eyes, she was realizing that he had noticed this new arrangement too. “Barney, it’s going to be o-“
But she didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence. His lips were already on hers, eager and desperate, clinging to the cheap notion that physical contact would heal him in the way it always had.
“Hey!” Marshall cried indignantly. “That’s my wife you’re kissing.”
Barney pulled his head away and exhaled sharply. “Are you jealous?”
Marshall gulped and nodded his head, still trying to wrap his head around the possibility that he was going to ride the tricycle. Granted, it would be with Barney but Barney’s sexual prowess was known throughout New York so if it there had to be a dude, then Barney was his best choice.
Barney closed his eyes and leaned towards Marshall, brushing their lips together. If he was going to do this, he would at least honor the Bro Code and not make eye contact in a Devil’s Three-way.
Lily gasped, surprised and turned-on by the sight unfolding in front of her. Suddenly, the room felt too damn hot and her clothes felt too damn tight.
“Fuck, feelings hour. Everyone in the bedroom. Now!”
Thankfully, for Lily, the boys listened better than her kindergartners did.