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snoggedTitle: Biblically Dirty
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: HIMYM is owned by the wonderful duo Carter Bays and Craig Thomas.
Pairing: Barney/Robin (friendship)
Rating/Warnings: FRT-13/PG-13; for sexual bible references. Seriously, I’m quoting Ezekiel 23:19-20.
Word Count: 211
Prompt: Bible
Requested by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tempestdance because she stumped the author.
Summary: Barney finds the dirtiest verse in the Bible so naturally he needs to share
Beta: None. Please let me know if you spot any spelling/grammar errors.
A/N: I was really hoping to find a site like smuttybibleverses.com but alas, I had to settle for everything2.com
“Robin! Robin! Look, Robin! Robin, Look!” Barney squeaked; pitch rising as he pointed at the vibrantly bright computer screen.
Robin narrowed her eyes, walking over to Ted’s computer desk, which Barney had commandeered for the evening. “What is it, Barney?”
“I found the dirtiest verse in the Bible. In fact, it’s so dirty and terrible that the only reason I’m going to tell you what it is because your body is so damn sinful even the devil would beg you for mercy.”
Robin couldn’t hide her smug grin, even if Barney’s compliment came from the land of lewd and crude. “All right, impress me.”
Barney’s face split into a wide smile, certain that he would be impress her with his dirty talk. “And I quote, yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions. See, my awesomeness is freaking biblical, baby!” He held up his hand for a fist bump and was not surprised when she returned it.
Because unlike Lily, Robin could appreciate the fine nuances of dick humor and that made her the best bro ever.
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: HIMYM is owned by the wonderful duo Carter Bays and Craig Thomas.
Pairing: Barney/Robin (friendship)
Rating/Warnings: FRT-13/PG-13; for sexual bible references. Seriously, I’m quoting Ezekiel 23:19-20.
Word Count: 211
Prompt: Bible
Requested by
tempestdance because she stumped the author.Summary: Barney finds the dirtiest verse in the Bible so naturally he needs to share
Beta: None. Please let me know if you spot any spelling/grammar errors.
A/N: I was really hoping to find a site like smuttybibleverses.com but alas, I had to settle for everything2.com
“Robin! Robin! Look, Robin! Robin, Look!” Barney squeaked; pitch rising as he pointed at the vibrantly bright computer screen.
Robin narrowed her eyes, walking over to Ted’s computer desk, which Barney had commandeered for the evening. “What is it, Barney?”
“I found the dirtiest verse in the Bible. In fact, it’s so dirty and terrible that the only reason I’m going to tell you what it is because your body is so damn sinful even the devil would beg you for mercy.”
Robin couldn’t hide her smug grin, even if Barney’s compliment came from the land of lewd and crude. “All right, impress me.”
Barney’s face split into a wide smile, certain that he would be impress her with his dirty talk. “And I quote, yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions. See, my awesomeness is freaking biblical, baby!” He held up his hand for a fist bump and was not surprised when she returned it.
Because unlike Lily, Robin could appreciate the fine nuances of dick humor and that made her the best bro ever.