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snoggedI believe in healing with smut, so hope you enjoy this one!
Title: Skinemax
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own the cast of How I Met Your Mother. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Barney/Other, Lily
Word Count: 844
Rating/Warnings: FRAO/NC-17; for voyeurism, sexual situations, and masturbation
Setting: set during Season 5's "The Rough Patch"
Summary: Lily watches Archisexture
Beta: None. All mistakes are mine.
A/N: Feedback is total love :)
While Marshall and Ted are distracted, Lily subtly presses the ‘eject’ button on the DVD player and carefully lifts the disc from the tray. She covers it quickly with the sleeve of her black cardigan and a guilty smile tugs at the corners of her lips. There’s something so dirty badwrong about watching her close friend in the throes of passion and lust, but she can’t help herself. She wants to chase down that shameful thrill and make it her bitch, dammit.
About three days after her porn heist, she finally gets the chance to watch it when Marshall gets called into Goliath National Bank for a conference call with the Prime Minister of Azerbaijan (or someone really important like that who would be awake on the other side of the world when its 9:00 in New York). She doesn’t bother with a fancy negligee or bra/panty set. She figures Barney would have wanted Ted to go au natural while viewing the tape, so she might as well offer the same accommodation.
She nestles into the mound of pillows on the queen-size bed and picks up the remote, pressing the ‘play’ button. She skips through 2005 Barney’s desperate plea for Ted to get him out of whatever steady relationship he might be in, and her breath hitches as the innocent brunette protests a little about the presence of the camera in the room.
Before he got with Robin, Barney was always good at finding women whose cup sizes worked in harmony with their IQ, and for some reason, they all flocked to him like moths to a deadly flame.
“The green light means it’s turned off,” Barney assures his unwilling porn star, and the woman visibly relaxes on screen, giggling as Barney’s fingers roam over the expanse of her supermodel-thin stomach.
“Oh it’s on, baby,” Lily murmurs, her own fingers moving up her tummy to pinch a rose-colored nipple. “It is so on.”
The home video quality is simple and plot line is pretty basic. Barney’s convinced the girl that he’s a talent agent for some made-up entertainment corporation who’s looking for a hot new talent. With each passing moment, he uses subtle manipulations with words, tongue, and fingers to push the woman further into uninhibited hedonism.
This, of course, drives Lily further into the dark pits of her guilty, wanton fantasy; taking her further and further away from the reality of Marshall, and marriage, and friendship. As far as she’s concerned, she’s not watching Barney, her friend. She’s watching Barney, the sex star. She’s watching Barney, the charismatic talent agent with a lean, muscular ass and a dick just aching to get inside the dripping cunt of his cinematic conquest.
Lily presses her three fingers against her own slit as the camera suddenly zooms in (probably has a button or something installed on his headboard), and she can see Barney line himself up with the woman’s pulsing entrance. A sultry moan catches in her throat as they slide home, stretching her, and making her hips roll.
On screen, Barney’s slutty friend grips Barney’s hips for dear life as he thrusts erratically, glutes clenching with each downwards stroke. Lily pumps her fingers inside the hot velvet vise of her core, and brushes her thumbnail across her sensitive clit. If he’s gonna go hard and fast, than she’s gonna match him pace for pace.
By the time, she gets close to climax; she’s practically bouncing off the mattress from the scorching intensity of her carnal lust. When she does fall into that blissful oblivion, it feels like a white-hot volcanic eruption gushing through her tiny frame, draining her of any and all energy. Simultaneously, the girl’s blissful screams echo through the audio feed of the tape. When he finishes, Barney rolls off of her, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.
Lost in her post-masturbation haze, Lily barely notices when Barney’s face fills the screen again, his ice blue eyes burning with devilish fire.
“Did you like the show, Lil?”
Lily flinches at her name, and instinctively pulls the covers over her exposed body. How in the hell did he know she’d be watching this?
He smirks, and she feels a chill coil in the pit of her stomach as she thinks about all the chances he could have to black mail her. “Don’t worry, my dear dirty hussy. You’re secret is safe with me.” But that feeling of ice disappears when his hands flail animatedly across the screen. “Dude! You should totally check out Dirty Hussies IV. There’s a scene in there that I know you’ll like.”
Lily nods, agreeing with Barney’s recording. It couldn’t hurt to steal a few more titles, and it isn’t like Ted would notice anyways since Barney has six other titles featuring references to architecture.
It’s really a win-win situation for everybody, and it's way better than watching Skinemax.
Title: Skinemax
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own the cast of How I Met Your Mother. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Barney/Other, Lily
Word Count: 844
Rating/Warnings: FRAO/NC-17; for voyeurism, sexual situations, and masturbation
Setting: set during Season 5's "The Rough Patch"
Summary: Lily watches Archisexture
Beta: None. All mistakes are mine.
A/N: Feedback is total love :)
While Marshall and Ted are distracted, Lily subtly presses the ‘eject’ button on the DVD player and carefully lifts the disc from the tray. She covers it quickly with the sleeve of her black cardigan and a guilty smile tugs at the corners of her lips. There’s something so dirty badwrong about watching her close friend in the throes of passion and lust, but she can’t help herself. She wants to chase down that shameful thrill and make it her bitch, dammit.
About three days after her porn heist, she finally gets the chance to watch it when Marshall gets called into Goliath National Bank for a conference call with the Prime Minister of Azerbaijan (or someone really important like that who would be awake on the other side of the world when its 9:00 in New York). She doesn’t bother with a fancy negligee or bra/panty set. She figures Barney would have wanted Ted to go au natural while viewing the tape, so she might as well offer the same accommodation.
She nestles into the mound of pillows on the queen-size bed and picks up the remote, pressing the ‘play’ button. She skips through 2005 Barney’s desperate plea for Ted to get him out of whatever steady relationship he might be in, and her breath hitches as the innocent brunette protests a little about the presence of the camera in the room.
Before he got with Robin, Barney was always good at finding women whose cup sizes worked in harmony with their IQ, and for some reason, they all flocked to him like moths to a deadly flame.
“The green light means it’s turned off,” Barney assures his unwilling porn star, and the woman visibly relaxes on screen, giggling as Barney’s fingers roam over the expanse of her supermodel-thin stomach.
“Oh it’s on, baby,” Lily murmurs, her own fingers moving up her tummy to pinch a rose-colored nipple. “It is so on.”
The home video quality is simple and plot line is pretty basic. Barney’s convinced the girl that he’s a talent agent for some made-up entertainment corporation who’s looking for a hot new talent. With each passing moment, he uses subtle manipulations with words, tongue, and fingers to push the woman further into uninhibited hedonism.
This, of course, drives Lily further into the dark pits of her guilty, wanton fantasy; taking her further and further away from the reality of Marshall, and marriage, and friendship. As far as she’s concerned, she’s not watching Barney, her friend. She’s watching Barney, the sex star. She’s watching Barney, the charismatic talent agent with a lean, muscular ass and a dick just aching to get inside the dripping cunt of his cinematic conquest.
Lily presses her three fingers against her own slit as the camera suddenly zooms in (probably has a button or something installed on his headboard), and she can see Barney line himself up with the woman’s pulsing entrance. A sultry moan catches in her throat as they slide home, stretching her, and making her hips roll.
On screen, Barney’s slutty friend grips Barney’s hips for dear life as he thrusts erratically, glutes clenching with each downwards stroke. Lily pumps her fingers inside the hot velvet vise of her core, and brushes her thumbnail across her sensitive clit. If he’s gonna go hard and fast, than she’s gonna match him pace for pace.
By the time, she gets close to climax; she’s practically bouncing off the mattress from the scorching intensity of her carnal lust. When she does fall into that blissful oblivion, it feels like a white-hot volcanic eruption gushing through her tiny frame, draining her of any and all energy. Simultaneously, the girl’s blissful screams echo through the audio feed of the tape. When he finishes, Barney rolls off of her, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.
Lost in her post-masturbation haze, Lily barely notices when Barney’s face fills the screen again, his ice blue eyes burning with devilish fire.
“Did you like the show, Lil?”
Lily flinches at her name, and instinctively pulls the covers over her exposed body. How in the hell did he know she’d be watching this?
He smirks, and she feels a chill coil in the pit of her stomach as she thinks about all the chances he could have to black mail her. “Don’t worry, my dear dirty hussy. You’re secret is safe with me.” But that feeling of ice disappears when his hands flail animatedly across the screen. “Dude! You should totally check out Dirty Hussies IV. There’s a scene in there that I know you’ll like.”
Lily nods, agreeing with Barney’s recording. It couldn’t hurt to steal a few more titles, and it isn’t like Ted would notice anyways since Barney has six other titles featuring references to architecture.
It’s really a win-win situation for everybody, and it's way better than watching Skinemax.