![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoggedTitle: Hell Can Be Anywhere (4/6)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
snogged and idioticonion
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. Joss Whedon and co. own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Angelus/Ted with a Willow/Marshall friendship
Word Count: 1110
Rating/Warnings: Overall: FRAO/NC-17; dark, slash, adult language (sexual slurs), violence, abduction, mind-fuckery, dub-con/non-con. This chapter: FRT-13/PG-13
Summary: This is the story that Ted will never tell his kids...
Setting: Post-S7 of Buffy. Post-S5 of Angel. I consider it AU though, since Angel's lost his soul again.
Beta:rockstarpeach. Please be aware, however, that this was co-written by an American and a Brit. We chose to utilise the British spellings of things, and it’s our sincerest apology if there are any inconsistencies or grammatical errors that did not get caught.
Previous Chapters
Willow leans against the table, resting her chin in her hands. They'd been theorizing locations for Ted and Angelus for the last 45 minutes and most of the suggestions had been fairly ridiculous. Even if ‘Trapped In Cotton Candy Mixture’ had given her a few genuine giggles.
"You know, Marshall? I'm starting to suspect that our "friends" might be in the same place. Angelus is just the guy who'd take someone like Ted host…hospital. He'd take Ted to the hospital...because you know, he might have bumped his head or something…."
She sighs, chewing nervously on her bottom lip and catching his eyes. There’s no way on the hellmouth that he’s gonna buy her stuttered lies, that he won't think she's some kind of ultra-crazy person. But in the same vein, there's also no way she can tell him that his best friend is probably hanging by the threads of his life, begging for mercy at the feet of a sadistic vampire.
Marshall frowns at her. That seems like a weird thing to say, because there are approximately 1.5 million people on the island of Manhattan and the chances of Ted and Angelus being together seems pretty remote. And anyway, Ted doesn't usually wander off on his own unless shots of alcohol were involved.
"Hey..." He says. "What do you know? Is this Angelus dangerous?" There's a flicker of fear in her eyes and suddenly Marshall has this terrible image of Ted, slumped on the sidewalk with his head bleeding while this weird little dude Angelus scurries away with his wallet. "Jesus!"
Worry lines crinkle Willow's forehead as she bites down on her lip, letting her wiggins get the better of her.
"Dangerous doesn't even begin to cover it. He's like the Boston Strangler, Jack the Ripper, and giant turd-face all rolled into one."
She pauses, flexing her fingers.
"But I know how to stop him. Which is why I'm here. And why I'm gonna ask for your help."
Marshall swallows and looks at her. "You're kidding?" But she shakes her head. Not kidding. "Wow, I don't know. I mean, I'm not much of a fighter..." He spreads his hands in front of him. "But it's Ted, you know?"
He takes a huge chug of his beer. "The Boston Strangler? Seriously?" So Ted really could be dead on the sidewalk somewhere? And this girl's such an itty bitty thing. He gets to his feet.
Then he sits back down again. "You any idea where to start looking?"
"Well, I'm gonna need a couple of herbs. Is there a magick shop somewhere around here?"
There's determination in her voice that masks the fear of facing Angelus again. Seeing him is really not on the top of her list. Not after everything he's put her through. Not after the hell he rained down in Sunnydale.
"And then...you're gonna show me where the warehouse district of New York is."
Marshall gives her a look. "Magic shop? Wow, I have no idea. I guess Barney would know. Magic's his thing...? But I don't think they sell herbs. Just trick handcuffs and big boxes that you fill with water."
He shudders; remembering the time Barney locked himself in a box of water in order to win a bet that he was 'more awesome than Houdini'. He won, but it gave him an inner ear problem for months afterwards. Dude could have drowned. Marshall still has nightmares about it.
"We could look it up on Google I guess?" He pulls out his Blackberry phone.
"Sadly, a big box of water and trick handcuffs aren't gonna kill Angelus. We need magick. With a k." Willow quips, her eyes switching from Marshall's large head to scanning the bar as Marshall works his fingers on the tiny phone keyboard. This would definitely be one of those times where Slayer spidey senses could come in handy...or even Slayer fashion sense since that's helped Buffy find the demons a time or two. And knowing Angelus, he's probably got demons out on the prowl.
Vampires are all about eyes and ears...and necks.
Her teeth scrape across her lip, drawing flesh into her mouth and sucking on it nervously. Time is not their friend right now.
"We just need to find them soon."
"Hey, there's a place called Aphrodisa Herb Store in the West Village," Marshall says, consulting his phone. "Says here... Wiccan herbal store? Does that help?"
He looks at her, non-plussed. Is she some kind of weird cult-person? He's heard about them and they kind of freak him out. Because if there's gonna be ghosts involved..?
On the other hand, it would be pretty cool to see an actual ghost. He's going to have to call Lily.
Willow's eyes light up, twinkling with spark and magic at Marshall's suggestion. It's a far cry from the woman she was just moments ago, discussing Angelus. "That would be perfect."
In an instant, she's on her feet, heading for the door, barely turning her head to see if Marshall is following behind. "I do really hope they have an Orb of Thesulah in stock. It's much trickier to pull Angel's soul out of interregnum without one..."
She pauses, realising that Marshall probably doesn't know anything about souls or interregnums and a stutter rises in her throat. "I mean, in the sense that, we...I mean, Angel is a...you know, soul-less killer." She lowers her voice, finding it hard to get the words out. "He a vampire."
"A vampire?" Marshall gives her a wide-eyed look of enthusiastic surprise. "Wait! What? Like, an actual vampire?" He says word in a comically loud hushed tone. "That's so... cool!"
But then he checks himself. "Shit. Ted! Shit. Holy shit." He gulps and looks apologetic for a moment. "Wow, sorry for the potty mouth it's just. Vampires? Shit! That's- I knew it! I knew it!" When Willow's still sitting there, stunned, he rises to his feet. "Well what are you waiting for? We need stakes and crosses and... and... holy water! We got shopping to do man!"
And with that, he pulls her out of the booth.
The brisk wind of New York hits her full in the face as Marshall drags her towards the Wiccan store and she doesn't know whether to laugh at Marshall's bubbly, slightly Andrew-esque enthusiasm or be extra, extra concerned that he's not screaming like a girl.
Plus, there's that whole fact that Buffy would kill her if Angel got staked during this rescue mission, even if Buffy and Angel stopped making with this kissy face like 1000 years ago.
But, at least, she's got a cavalry now and that's a step up from where she started.
Chapter 5
Author:
snogged and idioticonionDisclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. Joss Whedon and co. own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Angelus/Ted with a Willow/Marshall friendship
Word Count: 1110
Rating/Warnings: Overall: FRAO/NC-17; dark, slash, adult language (sexual slurs), violence, abduction, mind-fuckery, dub-con/non-con. This chapter: FRT-13/PG-13
Summary: This is the story that Ted will never tell his kids...
Setting: Post-S7 of Buffy. Post-S5 of Angel. I consider it AU though, since Angel's lost his soul again.
Beta:
rockstarpeach. Please be aware, however, that this was co-written by an American and a Brit. We chose to utilise the British spellings of things, and it’s our sincerest apology if there are any inconsistencies or grammatical errors that did not get caught.Previous Chapters
Willow leans against the table, resting her chin in her hands. They'd been theorizing locations for Ted and Angelus for the last 45 minutes and most of the suggestions had been fairly ridiculous. Even if ‘Trapped In Cotton Candy Mixture’ had given her a few genuine giggles.
"You know, Marshall? I'm starting to suspect that our "friends" might be in the same place. Angelus is just the guy who'd take someone like Ted host…hospital. He'd take Ted to the hospital...because you know, he might have bumped his head or something…."
She sighs, chewing nervously on her bottom lip and catching his eyes. There’s no way on the hellmouth that he’s gonna buy her stuttered lies, that he won't think she's some kind of ultra-crazy person. But in the same vein, there's also no way she can tell him that his best friend is probably hanging by the threads of his life, begging for mercy at the feet of a sadistic vampire.
Marshall frowns at her. That seems like a weird thing to say, because there are approximately 1.5 million people on the island of Manhattan and the chances of Ted and Angelus being together seems pretty remote. And anyway, Ted doesn't usually wander off on his own unless shots of alcohol were involved.
"Hey..." He says. "What do you know? Is this Angelus dangerous?" There's a flicker of fear in her eyes and suddenly Marshall has this terrible image of Ted, slumped on the sidewalk with his head bleeding while this weird little dude Angelus scurries away with his wallet. "Jesus!"
Worry lines crinkle Willow's forehead as she bites down on her lip, letting her wiggins get the better of her.
"Dangerous doesn't even begin to cover it. He's like the Boston Strangler, Jack the Ripper, and giant turd-face all rolled into one."
She pauses, flexing her fingers.
"But I know how to stop him. Which is why I'm here. And why I'm gonna ask for your help."
Marshall swallows and looks at her. "You're kidding?" But she shakes her head. Not kidding. "Wow, I don't know. I mean, I'm not much of a fighter..." He spreads his hands in front of him. "But it's Ted, you know?"
He takes a huge chug of his beer. "The Boston Strangler? Seriously?" So Ted really could be dead on the sidewalk somewhere? And this girl's such an itty bitty thing. He gets to his feet.
Then he sits back down again. "You any idea where to start looking?"
"Well, I'm gonna need a couple of herbs. Is there a magick shop somewhere around here?"
There's determination in her voice that masks the fear of facing Angelus again. Seeing him is really not on the top of her list. Not after everything he's put her through. Not after the hell he rained down in Sunnydale.
"And then...you're gonna show me where the warehouse district of New York is."
Marshall gives her a look. "Magic shop? Wow, I have no idea. I guess Barney would know. Magic's his thing...? But I don't think they sell herbs. Just trick handcuffs and big boxes that you fill with water."
He shudders; remembering the time Barney locked himself in a box of water in order to win a bet that he was 'more awesome than Houdini'. He won, but it gave him an inner ear problem for months afterwards. Dude could have drowned. Marshall still has nightmares about it.
"We could look it up on Google I guess?" He pulls out his Blackberry phone.
"Sadly, a big box of water and trick handcuffs aren't gonna kill Angelus. We need magick. With a k." Willow quips, her eyes switching from Marshall's large head to scanning the bar as Marshall works his fingers on the tiny phone keyboard. This would definitely be one of those times where Slayer spidey senses could come in handy...or even Slayer fashion sense since that's helped Buffy find the demons a time or two. And knowing Angelus, he's probably got demons out on the prowl.
Vampires are all about eyes and ears...and necks.
Her teeth scrape across her lip, drawing flesh into her mouth and sucking on it nervously. Time is not their friend right now.
"We just need to find them soon."
"Hey, there's a place called Aphrodisa Herb Store in the West Village," Marshall says, consulting his phone. "Says here... Wiccan herbal store? Does that help?"
He looks at her, non-plussed. Is she some kind of weird cult-person? He's heard about them and they kind of freak him out. Because if there's gonna be ghosts involved..?
On the other hand, it would be pretty cool to see an actual ghost. He's going to have to call Lily.
Willow's eyes light up, twinkling with spark and magic at Marshall's suggestion. It's a far cry from the woman she was just moments ago, discussing Angelus. "That would be perfect."
In an instant, she's on her feet, heading for the door, barely turning her head to see if Marshall is following behind. "I do really hope they have an Orb of Thesulah in stock. It's much trickier to pull Angel's soul out of interregnum without one..."
She pauses, realising that Marshall probably doesn't know anything about souls or interregnums and a stutter rises in her throat. "I mean, in the sense that, we...I mean, Angel is a...you know, soul-less killer." She lowers her voice, finding it hard to get the words out. "He a vampire."
"A vampire?" Marshall gives her a wide-eyed look of enthusiastic surprise. "Wait! What? Like, an actual vampire?" He says word in a comically loud hushed tone. "That's so... cool!"
But then he checks himself. "Shit. Ted! Shit. Holy shit." He gulps and looks apologetic for a moment. "Wow, sorry for the potty mouth it's just. Vampires? Shit! That's- I knew it! I knew it!" When Willow's still sitting there, stunned, he rises to his feet. "Well what are you waiting for? We need stakes and crosses and... and... holy water! We got shopping to do man!"
And with that, he pulls her out of the booth.
The brisk wind of New York hits her full in the face as Marshall drags her towards the Wiccan store and she doesn't know whether to laugh at Marshall's bubbly, slightly Andrew-esque enthusiasm or be extra, extra concerned that he's not screaming like a girl.
Plus, there's that whole fact that Buffy would kill her if Angel got staked during this rescue mission, even if Buffy and Angel stopped making with this kissy face like 1000 years ago.
But, at least, she's got a cavalry now and that's a step up from where she started.
Chapter 5