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snoggedTitle: Do Bad Things To You
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas, and various other corporations own How I Met Your Mother. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Barney/Lily
Word Count: 200
Rating/Warnings: FRM/R; PWP
Setting: Season 6 – “Desperation Day”
Summary: Barney's thought process during Lily's Marshall fantasy.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
idioticonion. All other mistakes are mine.
A/N: Blame Jace Everett. He was the first artist that came up on my iPod this morning. :P
Bends me over the island…code for: harder, Marshall, harder….
Lily doesn’t need Desperation Day or Valentine’s Day to demonstrate how she’s a ten with the self-confidence of a twelve and the sexual depravity of two. She doesn’t need a special day to make his skin hot, make his dick twitch, make him forget that Marshall is his bro.
He’d bend her over the bar counter in a heartbeat if that would make her shut up, even spank her with - he thinks for a second, trying to recall what Carl has hiding back there – a wet dish towel seems too Phy. Ed, but it would work. He’s always had a skill for making just about any household item kinky. He’d paint her backside with broad red stripes, make her moan and buck against him as he….
Fuck!
He needs to stop thinking about this. No matter how horny Lily is, he knows she’d rather dry hump a pillow into oblivion on the eve of Valentine’s Day, instead of giving him a try. Plus, Marshall would kill him for going there.
Lucky for him, the path to salvation is not paved in cotton. It’s paved in bimbos.
All hail Saint Desperatius.
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas, and various other corporations own How I Met Your Mother. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Barney/Lily
Word Count: 200
Rating/Warnings: FRM/R; PWP
Setting: Season 6 – “Desperation Day”
Summary: Barney's thought process during Lily's Marshall fantasy.
Beta:
idioticonion. All other mistakes are mine.A/N: Blame Jace Everett. He was the first artist that came up on my iPod this morning. :P
Bends me over the island…code for: harder, Marshall, harder….
Lily doesn’t need Desperation Day or Valentine’s Day to demonstrate how she’s a ten with the self-confidence of a twelve and the sexual depravity of two. She doesn’t need a special day to make his skin hot, make his dick twitch, make him forget that Marshall is his bro.
He’d bend her over the bar counter in a heartbeat if that would make her shut up, even spank her with - he thinks for a second, trying to recall what Carl has hiding back there – a wet dish towel seems too Phy. Ed, but it would work. He’s always had a skill for making just about any household item kinky. He’d paint her backside with broad red stripes, make her moan and buck against him as he….
Fuck!
He needs to stop thinking about this. No matter how horny Lily is, he knows she’d rather dry hump a pillow into oblivion on the eve of Valentine’s Day, instead of giving him a try. Plus, Marshall would kill him for going there.
Lucky for him, the path to salvation is not paved in cotton. It’s paved in bimbos.
All hail Saint Desperatius.