Finding Forgiveness in the Mouth of Hell (Willow/Angel) - FRT-13/PG-13

[snogged]

Today is my posting day on winter_of_angel so we're going to start with a little ficlet I wrote.

Title: Finding Forgiveness in the Mouth of Hell

Author: snogged

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and co. own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series. I don't. Please don't sue.

Pairing: Angel/Willow

Word Count: 710

Rating: FRT-13; suicide ideation, themes of infidelity, angst, kissing

Spoilers: Takes place after the events of "Lover's Walk."

Summary: Willow wants to put an end to her path of destruction. But Angel won't let her.

A/N: Written for winter_of_angel. Many thanks to Gabrielle for the beta.



She was a slut. A dirty, wicked, slutty home-wrecking slut who caused people to suffer unmistakable, irreparable pain. There were no words in the English vernacular that would change what she did. Cordelia would always have the physical scar where the iron rod had pierced her gut. Oz would always carry the emotional scars, would always feel like he'd had his heart ripped out and shredded.

She needed to end this path of destruction, wanted to pay for the crimes she'd committed. And in Sunnydale, there were many ways to walk into the jaws of hell and let it swallow her whole. Each darkened street and alley whispered to her, beckoned her to come and find the vampire nest or the scaly demon that would grant her wish. Distracted by her own misery, she didn’t even notice the fact that she had collided with someone, or something.

“I…um…s-sorry,” Willow mumbled.

"Willow. What are you doing out here?"

Willow blinked, feeling the soft cotton of a t-shirt as well as a hard, masculine body underneath her fingers. "Angel? I…I was…"

"Trying to get yourself killed," Angel replied softly.

"How'd you know?" Willow asked, biting down on her bottom lip to hold back the stream of tears that threatened to stain her cheeks.

"Buffy told me." Angel tilted his head and Willow felt like his dark, brown eyes were burning holes into her skin.

"You think I'm wretched, don't you?" Willow whispered, as the dam broke loose and her breathing turned ragged with her sobs. "That I deserve to die."

Instinctively, Angel moved his hand to cup her cheek and his eyes darkened, a flash of amber threatening to come to the surface. "No, Willow. There are people in this world who have done much worse, believe me. I'm one of them. I've been seeking forgiveness for the last century for all the wrongs I've committed."

"But I screwed up, Angel, and I don’t have 100 years ahead of me to fix all the horrible things I did," Willow replied, pursing her lips and settling into her resolve face. "I'll be dead long before that so I might as well just save everyone the trouble now."

Angel furrowed his brow, concerned by Willow’s self-destructive attitude. It wasn’t like her. He was used to the genuine smile and the bright eyes that she shared with everyone who walked into a room. He was used to the love that radiated from her aura and warmed everything she touched. But those elements seemed to be missing tonight and he felt the strong compulsion to remind her that she was a person worthy of love, no matter what she had done. Without another thought, he captured her mouth in a searing kiss that was sure to make her lips tingle and her toes curl (if the string of women who had been on the receiving end of his sexual prowess had anything to say about it).
Willow's breath hitched and she twisted her head away. The tears stinging her cheeks made Angel flinch. That was not the reaction he was going for at all.

"Angel, I c-c-can't. I've already cheated once today…and I….Buffy,” Willow choked, her bottom lip trembling.

Angel nodded, wishing he could bring himself to spin the silky words that would convince her otherwise. And as much joy as that would bring his demon, he couldn't bring himself to watch her break under his will. Instead, he offered platitudes. "Go home, Willow. Go home and get some rest."

Willow exhaled sharply and turned around; slowly retracing her steps back to her house and trying to ignore the twisting feeling in her gut. Not only had Angel kissed her, but she'd liked it. Buffy would kill her if she ever found out. She really was a home-wrecking slut.

Angel slipped into the comfort of the shadows and leaned his head against a tree trunk, thinking about the kiss and the conversation. He thought about what it meant to be a hero, and what it would mean to save Willow, who had clearly fallen to damnsel in distress status. Tomorrow night, he was going to do something he knew how to do. He was going to teach Willow how to forgive herself. Someone had to.

FIN

Comments

[lzod.livejournal.com]

& you ended it *THERE*??????

[snogged.livejournal.com]

*hides*

Forgive me?

[lzod.livejournal.com]

well....its cold outside so I can forgive you....for *now*! *EG*

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

Yay! It's your day and you got this posted! It's swell, hon!


Gabrielle

[snogged.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear it :)

[rua1412.livejournal.com]

Great ficlet. I loved it!

[snogged.livejournal.com]

thanks

[ginnyrules2.livejournal.com]

Utterly fantastic daer. I would love to read a sequel to this. I spotted a small typo, near the beginning, but I can't remember exactly what it was some, word made plural, or perhaps I just misunderstood the sentence. But, I adored the story, thanks for sharing.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it

I scanned through the beginning and nothing jumped out but if you spot it again...let me know, okay?

[ginnyrules2.livejournal.com]

You write so well, I was bound to like it. I looked again, here's the sentence, "And in Sunnydale, there were many ways to walks into the jaws of hell and let it swallow her whole." I'm not an expert by any means, but I think it should be walk instead of walks. *shrug* I hope you're not upset I told you about hte typo, I wish people would point out mine in all honesty. I really should get stuff beta'd more often, or at least read it closer.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

*blushes*

And you're absolutely on the mark with your correction. Thanks for pointing that out!

[ginnyrules2.livejournal.com]

Its nothing to be ashamed of, everyone makes typos now and then, which is why betas exist. Your quite welcome.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

Believe me, I'm not ashamed. I use betas all the time. Gabrielle looked this one over for me but I have about four others that look at my stuff too.

[ginnyrules2.livejournal.com]

Good. I was just worried. And here I go talking so much. Thats good that you have so many to help. By the way your icon really makes me want to try writing a spike/willow/angel story. That would be really fun.

[dragonydreams.livejournal.com]

I'm glad Angel was there to send Willow home. I just hope that kiss doesn't cause her too much more guilt. She's got enough of that as it is.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

thanks for your review

I hope she doesn't take on the guilty thing with the kiss either.