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snoggedThis is NOT a story for everyone. It is for ADULTS ONLY and contains themes of a dark and sexual nature. Please read the warnings before you continue. Thank you.
Title: Breathless
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. I don't. Please don't sue.
Pairing: Barney; Barney/Ted
Word Count: 1016
Rating: NC-17/FRAO (probably higher); dark themes, masturbation, autoerotic asphyxiation*, slash, language, kissing.
*Autoerotic asphyxiation refers to intentionally cutting off oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal.
Summary: Barney crosses the edge…
Beta: The impeccable![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rockstarpeach.
A/N: Dedicated toidioticonion who made my dreams come true today and requested this particular kink. I always love getting a challenge. And just for fun, the first person to catch the Buffy reference gets a free drabble.
Barney wrapped the soft, power-blue, Egyptian cotton towel around his waist and stared at his reflection in the mirror. A smile twitched at the corners of his lips and his eyes twinkled with pride. He looked damn good. Fucking good, even. No wonder every bimbo in New York scrambled to give him lip service at the end of the night. He was fully awesome and absolutely tappable.
He lifted his fingers tracing them across his sculpted cheekbone and down the slender column of his throat. There was still a faint bruise from the randy whore named April who had bucked like a bronco and bit like one too. Not that he minded. Sex was always more fun if it hurt a little bit.
His hand crossed the plane of his chest and a soft moan fell from his lips as a perfectly manicured nail caught his nipple, sending a tiny spark of pleasure to his groin. Why not? He did just get a new film, Porn School Hump-i-cal, and it couldn't hurt to test it out. 'Sides, he didn't need to be to the bar for another three hours.
He slipped off the towel and dropped it on the rack, letting the soft breeze of the AC swirl around his naked skin. His cock trembled slightly and he strolled into the bedroom, plopping down on the bed and flipping on the 300 inch flat screen. There was nothing quite like watching porn on the big screen. And who ever invented HD was a God among men. Sometimes, you could even see the woman's plastic surgery scars and that was oddly hot. Plus, the pussies looked wetter and the spunk looked creamier. It was a beautiful thing.
As the first scene unfolded, Barney encircled his cock with his hand, feeling it fill under his touch. He stroked it lightly, teasing it, tempting it. It leapt in response, twitching in his hand. Barney chuckled; still entertained by the way his body reacted to pleasure. He tightened his grip and started a slow steady rhythm. The build was good, of course. But something was missing. His body was craving a certain spice tonight, needed a certain edge to cross. Wanted to cross a line he had never crossed before.
He scanned the room until his eyes fell on one of his brand-new ties- Moroccan silk. Very expensive. It would do the trick. He crawled towards the edge of the bed and plucked it off the rack. He draped it around his shoulders, sighing pleasantly as the fabric brushed against his skin. With diligence and speed, he crossed the ends and pulled the fabric tight, pushing against the surface of his neck and shortening his breaths.
He twisted the tie into a knot, making the pressure around his throat more than he could stand. His eyes fogged over with lust, the images of the movie blurring as he went back to stroking his prick, up and down, flick and twist. Each second gets rougher, harder, more demanding.
His brain is drifting, floating, flying away from his body. He feels fuzzy, warm but not like love. This isn't love. This is primal. This is madness. His body convulses as it sinks into a strange darkness. He's sinking…sinking…deeper….deeper. Could feel the orgasm building, coursing through him, burning through him. The earth was opening itself up and swallowing him whole. It felt like he was dying.
And then…
His breath knocks into him like a harsh wind and his body hardens, lengthens. The lips of Death are no longer latched to his mouth, no longer sucking him dry, no longer leaving him cold.
"Barney! Fuck! Wake up, Barney."
"Ted." The word sounds more like a pathetic whimper but it's enough. Enough for him. Enough for Ted.
"Oh god, Barney. What were you thinking?"
"I was horny," Barney muttered.
Ted snorted, condemnation creeping into his tone. "Seriously? This is what you do when you…." He wrinkled his nose, obviously disgusted. "Barney, you talk so big about teaching us how to live and yet, you just tried to kill yourself. Seems a little backwards, huh?"
Barney struggled to wrap his mind around Ted's rant. It wasn't that he didn't think Ted had a point. It just went to show that Ted was never going to get it. But the real question was how did Ted know? How did Ted know how to come here? How did Ted know he was going to walk out of here a hero? "I…How did you find me?"
"Lily said she tried to call and when she didn't get an answer she went into total worry mode and made me come check on you," Ted admitted. "I tried to tell her you were probably just macking on some floozy but she insisted. Said something about a bad tummy feeling and putting on her resolve face. And dude, I gotta say, a woman's intuition saved your life."
Barney pursed his lips together, suddenly aware of his vulnerability. He was naked, still naked, and the room was still illuminated by the brightness of his television screen. "I don't need to be rescued. I'm doing damn fine on my own."
"That's where I think you're wrong," Ted said quietly. He couldn't deny that the atmosphere had turned up the sexual charge and part of it was from the lust and stubborn anger burning in Barney's eyes. "I think you need us, need me. Need your best friend and your bro to save you. And I always will."
Barney's lower lip trembled and without blinking, Ted leaned forward and captured his mouth in a searing kiss.
Barney wasn't sure why, but he surrendered to it, letting Ted take the lead. It felt weird, but it felt right like the answer to a prayer that had gone unanswered until now. It made him feel light-headed but not in the same way that strangling himself had. Ted was flooding his whole body with feelings of love, adoration, and acceptance. Stuff he didn’t know he was ready to accept.
But coming from Ted, it left him breathless.
Title: Breathless
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. I don't. Please don't sue.
Pairing: Barney; Barney/Ted
Word Count: 1016
Rating: NC-17/FRAO (probably higher); dark themes, masturbation, autoerotic asphyxiation*, slash, language, kissing.
*Autoerotic asphyxiation refers to intentionally cutting off oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal.
Summary: Barney crosses the edge…
Beta: The impeccable
rockstarpeach.A/N: Dedicated to
idioticonion who made my dreams come true today and requested this particular kink. I always love getting a challenge. And just for fun, the first person to catch the Buffy reference gets a free drabble.Barney wrapped the soft, power-blue, Egyptian cotton towel around his waist and stared at his reflection in the mirror. A smile twitched at the corners of his lips and his eyes twinkled with pride. He looked damn good. Fucking good, even. No wonder every bimbo in New York scrambled to give him lip service at the end of the night. He was fully awesome and absolutely tappable.
He lifted his fingers tracing them across his sculpted cheekbone and down the slender column of his throat. There was still a faint bruise from the randy whore named April who had bucked like a bronco and bit like one too. Not that he minded. Sex was always more fun if it hurt a little bit.
His hand crossed the plane of his chest and a soft moan fell from his lips as a perfectly manicured nail caught his nipple, sending a tiny spark of pleasure to his groin. Why not? He did just get a new film, Porn School Hump-i-cal, and it couldn't hurt to test it out. 'Sides, he didn't need to be to the bar for another three hours.
He slipped off the towel and dropped it on the rack, letting the soft breeze of the AC swirl around his naked skin. His cock trembled slightly and he strolled into the bedroom, plopping down on the bed and flipping on the 300 inch flat screen. There was nothing quite like watching porn on the big screen. And who ever invented HD was a God among men. Sometimes, you could even see the woman's plastic surgery scars and that was oddly hot. Plus, the pussies looked wetter and the spunk looked creamier. It was a beautiful thing.
As the first scene unfolded, Barney encircled his cock with his hand, feeling it fill under his touch. He stroked it lightly, teasing it, tempting it. It leapt in response, twitching in his hand. Barney chuckled; still entertained by the way his body reacted to pleasure. He tightened his grip and started a slow steady rhythm. The build was good, of course. But something was missing. His body was craving a certain spice tonight, needed a certain edge to cross. Wanted to cross a line he had never crossed before.
He scanned the room until his eyes fell on one of his brand-new ties- Moroccan silk. Very expensive. It would do the trick. He crawled towards the edge of the bed and plucked it off the rack. He draped it around his shoulders, sighing pleasantly as the fabric brushed against his skin. With diligence and speed, he crossed the ends and pulled the fabric tight, pushing against the surface of his neck and shortening his breaths.
He twisted the tie into a knot, making the pressure around his throat more than he could stand. His eyes fogged over with lust, the images of the movie blurring as he went back to stroking his prick, up and down, flick and twist. Each second gets rougher, harder, more demanding.
His brain is drifting, floating, flying away from his body. He feels fuzzy, warm but not like love. This isn't love. This is primal. This is madness. His body convulses as it sinks into a strange darkness. He's sinking…sinking…deeper….deeper. Could feel the orgasm building, coursing through him, burning through him. The earth was opening itself up and swallowing him whole. It felt like he was dying.
And then…
His breath knocks into him like a harsh wind and his body hardens, lengthens. The lips of Death are no longer latched to his mouth, no longer sucking him dry, no longer leaving him cold.
"Barney! Fuck! Wake up, Barney."
"Ted." The word sounds more like a pathetic whimper but it's enough. Enough for him. Enough for Ted.
"Oh god, Barney. What were you thinking?"
"I was horny," Barney muttered.
Ted snorted, condemnation creeping into his tone. "Seriously? This is what you do when you…." He wrinkled his nose, obviously disgusted. "Barney, you talk so big about teaching us how to live and yet, you just tried to kill yourself. Seems a little backwards, huh?"
Barney struggled to wrap his mind around Ted's rant. It wasn't that he didn't think Ted had a point. It just went to show that Ted was never going to get it. But the real question was how did Ted know? How did Ted know how to come here? How did Ted know he was going to walk out of here a hero? "I…How did you find me?"
"Lily said she tried to call and when she didn't get an answer she went into total worry mode and made me come check on you," Ted admitted. "I tried to tell her you were probably just macking on some floozy but she insisted. Said something about a bad tummy feeling and putting on her resolve face. And dude, I gotta say, a woman's intuition saved your life."
Barney pursed his lips together, suddenly aware of his vulnerability. He was naked, still naked, and the room was still illuminated by the brightness of his television screen. "I don't need to be rescued. I'm doing damn fine on my own."
"That's where I think you're wrong," Ted said quietly. He couldn't deny that the atmosphere had turned up the sexual charge and part of it was from the lust and stubborn anger burning in Barney's eyes. "I think you need us, need me. Need your best friend and your bro to save you. And I always will."
Barney's lower lip trembled and without blinking, Ted leaned forward and captured his mouth in a searing kiss.
Barney wasn't sure why, but he surrendered to it, letting Ted take the lead. It felt weird, but it felt right like the answer to a prayer that had gone unanswered until now. It made him feel light-headed but not in the same way that strangling himself had. Ted was flooding his whole body with feelings of love, adoration, and acceptance. Stuff he didn’t know he was ready to accept.
But coming from Ted, it left him breathless.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2009-02-13 05:13 am (UTC)>Said something about a bad tummy feeling and putting on her resolve face.
Resolve face is totally Willow from Buffy. It's her don't-argue-with-me face. Do I win?
Anyway, I think what really made this for me was Ted was concerned... I missed the non-asshole Ted a lot in the show in season 4.
no subject
on 2009-02-13 05:25 am (UTC)And yup! You totally win a free drabble.
Keep it to HIMYM though but pick a pairing and I'll write it for you :)
See, I was torn between Lily, Robin, and Ted as the person who showed up to save him and in the end, I went with Ted. It seemed like a good thing for him to find.
no subject
on 2009-02-13 05:32 am (UTC)Awesome! I have no idea what I would want more. Barney/Someone I suppose, but not sure what would be more fun:
Barney/Lily/Marshall
Ted/Robin/Barney
Barney/Lily or Barney/Marshall
college!Barney/college!Ted
(although two of those are more of a threesome than a pairing)
Pick the one that inspires you the most out of that. I'm easy to please and smut is awesome.
no subject
on 2009-02-13 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-13 05:26 am (UTC)I figure Lily's gotta have a resolve face. Willow always had a great one.
Thanks.
no subject
on 2009-02-13 05:27 am (UTC)Strangled love
on 2009-02-13 08:44 am (UTC)And this... this is honestly one of the best things you've ever written:
"His brain is drifting, floating, flying away from his body. He feels fuzzy, warm but not like love. This isn't love. This is primal. This is madness. His body convulses as it sinks into a strange darkness. He's sinking…sinking…deeper….deeper. Could feel the orgasm building, coursing through him, burning through him. The earth was opening itself up and swallowing him whole. It felt like he was dying."
The entire thing is just BEAUTIFUL.
Thank you.
Re: Strangled love
on 2009-02-13 03:19 pm (UTC)Thank you so much! And I'm beyond thrilled that you think I handled your prompt so well.
I'm fond of that line too. Heaven help me if I know where it came from though. I was so in and out of my head during the writing process.
Made my beta's job more fun :)
no subject
on 2009-02-13 03:36 pm (UTC)And technically, I was the first person to find the Buffy reference ;)
no subject
on 2009-02-13 03:48 pm (UTC)But you know I'd write you anything if you just ask. You don't need a drabble call or contest for that honor.
no subject
on 2009-02-14 04:50 am (UTC)Chilling. Powerful. Some gorgeous writing. I'm not quite sure that I liked it, but that's me. It's definitely a very affecting accomplishment.
Funny story: My only exposure to this particular practice before reading this fic was the X-Files episode in which a psychic tells Mulder he's going to die of autoerotic asphyxiation. My young mind puzzled over that one for awhile, finally deciding that it must mean a man accidentally dying of suffocation while attempting to perform oral sex on himself. I had to credit Mulder with some impressive flexibility.
I think I'm going to keep my own interpretation, just because it's funnier.
no subject
on 2009-02-14 06:05 am (UTC)Thank you so much. I think the purpose of this is its chilling and evocative nature. It's a darkness twinged with sexuality. And I think your response is perfect. It means that I accomplished what I set out to do when given this prompt.
And yeah, your interpretation is much funnier :)
no subject
on 2009-05-01 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-05-01 04:47 am (UTC)Glad you enjoyed
no subject
on 2009-09-21 01:13 am (UTC)Just... OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD BAAAAARNEEEEEEYYYYYYY!!! (That was English!)
Holy shit. Um. Yes. Barney needs Ted.
And then they have to have lots of really really hot sex. Maybe some threesomes.
Oh god, now I want an epic Barney/Ted fic. ... With a really weird long-term relationship.
no subject
on 2009-09-21 03:48 am (UTC)And hee...yes sex and threesomes are very good things for them to do.