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snoggedTitle: Every Other Time
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. I don't. Please don't sue.
Pairing: Barney/Penelope
Word Count: 1738
Rating: NC-17/FRAO; smut, explicit sex in a public place, adult language, sexual slur
Spoilers: Takes place before Season 1 "Come On." This is altered from the original dialogue, which is “We had sex twice in your car and then you dumped me.” I thought library sex would be more fun for their first encounter
Summary: Barney and Penelope's first encounter.
Beta: the very sweet![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
roland44. Many thanks to idioticonion for the countless read throughs and the impeccable support.
Written foridioticonion and the Smut Duel Challenge
There was something about the Columbia University Library that made his prick twitch the moment he stepped through the double door. Maybe it was the smell of horny, college students sneaking naughty gropes under the study desks. Or perhaps, it was the smell of cute, academically-inclined cutlets just waiting to be corrupted, just waiting to be fucked.
Either way, it didn't really matter to him. He was just looking for a challenge that couldn't come from a few vodka cranberries or a dirty whisper to a drunk blonde outside the ladies' room at MacLaren's. And he was more than happy to convince these girls he was a TA or the Assistant Dean. They all got wet at the prospect of getting an 'A' and Barney was more than willing to dangle that possibility in front of them like a carrot on a stick.
As he slipped down the row marked 'Native American History and Culture', he spotted his target. A pretty wisp of a thing with curly brown hair, wire rimmed glasses, flowery shirt with bell bottom sleeves, and a soft leather brown skirt that skirted up her creamy thighs whenever she reached for the top shelf. She definitely had that sexy librarian look going on and he couldn't wait to make her hair come falling down in a cascade around her shoulders as she squeezed the life out of his cock with her slick pussy.
Barney absentmindedly grabbed a book from the shelf and flipped through the pages, softly chucking at the fact that it was a book on Native American sexuality. It was deliciously appropriate for what he had planned.
He glanced up at her through hooded eyes and a small grin twitched at the corners of his lips when her brows furrowed in frustration. "Can't find what you're looking for?"
The girl blinked, clearly startled by the presence of someone else in this row. "Actually, I was…" She looked at the book he was holding and her hands went instantly to her hips. "I was looking for that book. Do you mind?"
Barney feigned surprise and closed the book, handing it to her. "You know, I find it interesting that we would share such a unique interest in Native American culture. I've always found their culture to be filled with raw, primal intensity so I was not surprised to see that they fuck like they live."
The girl's eyes widened and her expression was a mixture of shock, disapproval, and intrigue. She was at the very least impressed with his depiction of Native American culture. "You…you shouldn't talk like that in here. People are…"
Barney stepped forward, closing the gap between them. His arm shot out behind her head to grip the bookshelf. In a nutshell, she was pinned and at his mercy. "Oh, but you like the way I'm talking don't you." His voice was low, husky, and sensuous and she was well on her way to melting under his spell.
"My name's Penelope," she murmured, getting the niceties out of the way. It wasn't like her to feel this way, with someone she just met. She was prone to at least wait till the third date before she would put out. But he was making her feel a blushing heat that enveloped her being and permeated her core. God, the way he talked about fucking, about living…it was really turning her on. "I'm a doctorate student. You?"
"Barney. Second year law student." It was a convenient identity, stolen straight from Marshall, of course. But by the time he was done, the stupid details wouldn't matter.
"Oh," Penelope whimpered, as Barney's pelvis brushed against hers, making her very aware of the hardness growing there.
"See what you do to me, baby," Barney whispered, running his fingers through her hair with his free hand and gripping the bookshelf tighter with the other. "I get hard just looking into those pretty brown eyes."
Penelope's breath hitched and her hands wrapped around Barney's neck. "Yeah?"
Barney nodded. God, this girl was easy and she wasn't even drunk. And what a benefit it would be if she thought this was all her idea. That trick always made walking away that much easier. "Want you to take me right here and now, baby."
Penelope felt her mind swarm with lusty thoughts, clouding at any sense of reason she might have had. She captured his mouth in a smoking, sultry kiss and Barney moaned, sending vibrations of electricity into her lips. Their mouths fused together, drawing life and lust with each breath, each swirl of their tongues dancing to the tune that had been history's greatest invention. His hand left her hair and moved down her back, the soft cotton of her top shifting under his touch until he had settled on the curve of her ass. And to his pleasant surprise: no panty lines. This girl had obviously been planning for some kind of spontaneous romp when she woke up this morning.
"You dirty, little tramp," Barney hissed. "You wanted this to happen all day. Bet you wanted someone to notice. Wanted someone to catch you. Bet you were hoping someone would peek under your skirt while you studied."
Penelope purred, her body flushing with the heat of her passion, and her fingers tangling in his blond curls. She wasn't even remotely offended that he had discovered her secret. "I'm a bad girl. A very bad girl."
"You know what I do to bad girls?" Barney asked, moving his lips from her mouth to the column of her throat. His tongue flicked against her pulsing vein, making her blood run faster, making her heart pump harder. "I make them prove it."
His hand moved from the girl's ass to his zipper. With nimble fingers and speed, he got his pants opened and freed his engorged cock from its confines. She wasn't the only one who had forgotten to wear underwear today.
Penelope shuddered and wrapped her legs around his waist, digging the heels of her ballet flats into the base of his spine. Barney's hand cupped her ass to help her balance and he felt the bookshelf groan under the pressure. He only hoped the damn piece of furniture would hold up long enough for him to get his satisfaction.
"Fuck me," Penelope whispered.
"Anything you want, baby." Barney replied, brushing the tip of his cock against her clit. "You on birth control?"
Penelope shook her head in response and uttered a brief: "Uh huh."
"Good," Barney replied. He didn't even need to see what he was doing to know where her entrance was. He just lined up and went in for the kill. She instantly bucked against him, rocking her hips, and moaning softly as he built a rhythm for them, feeling out every nuance of her body, and guiding her responses with experienced vigor.
Penelope bounced against him, forcing her muscles to strain and flex from the exertion. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying desperately not to moan, not to scream, not to draw attention. She felt lucky that Native Americans weren't high on people's book lists. It helped her concentrate on the motions, the movement. Up, down, up, down…
Barney thrust into her with earnest, his balls tightening, getting heavier with each stroke. He was gonna come…come inside her…fill her to the brim with his power, his hunger. Wanted her to feel exactly what she did to him. He captured her lips in a ravaging kiss as he climaxed, feeling her lock around him, her body going into the spasm of her own rich orgasm.
Barney gently lowered her to the floor, and her arms clung tight to him, finding her support as her legs wobbled from the loss of direct blood flow.
"Did I prove it?" Penelope whispered.
Barney sighed, slowly dislodging her arms from his neck. He zipped up his pants and straightened his tie. The mask falls away, disintegrating, crumbling. For the first time, she gets to see his face, his reality, his indifference. He's just a devil with a charming grin and if she was looking, he bet she could see right through him. But based on the dreamy look in her eyes, this wasn’t a game he was going to lose.
He glanced down at his watch and feigned expression of panic creased his features. “Shit! I’ve gotta get to class, babe. Our professor has been riding us so hard this week and she’ll throw the book at me if I’m late again. Call you later?” With a quick turn of his heel, he disappeared down the hallway, leaving a stunned and sated girl in his wake.
"But you…" Penelope started, realizing she hadn’t given him her phone number. She supposed he probably could check the campus directory if he wanted to see her again. It wasn’t like her name was hard to find. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt and leaned against the bookcase, latching onto the fantasy that this magnificent stranger wouldn’t be just another one night stand.
As Barney hit the front doors, he felt the wind brush across his face and felt a stirring in his pants as he thought back to the girl he had just left behind. His mind still echoed with the sounds of her soft moans and her bad girl promises. She was definitely worth a second ride on the Barney train. Of course, that meant taking a few extra leads but he could spare the time if she would screw the rod.
And all he had to do was get into a bar, feed her a few drinks, and maybe get her into the backseat of his Mercedes-Benz. Or if he really wanted to keep up the ruse, steal the backseat of Marshall’s Fiero. Those kids wouldn’t notice a few new stains anyways.
“Barney.”
Her voice caught his attention and he turned around to face his latest conquest. He had barely made it around the street corner before she had tracked him down all by herself. “Yeah?”
A sweet smile ghosted the corners of her mouth and she tilted her head, looking coy and innocent. A stark contrast to the way her face had contorted in debauched bliss a few minutes earlier. “Wanna get a drink later?”
Barney looked up to the heavens, sending a mental thank you to the god of ‘getting laid twice.’ It still amazed him how often this shit worked out for him, even if it really only worked every other time.
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. I don't. Please don't sue.
Pairing: Barney/Penelope
Word Count: 1738
Rating: NC-17/FRAO; smut, explicit sex in a public place, adult language, sexual slur
Spoilers: Takes place before Season 1 "Come On." This is altered from the original dialogue, which is “We had sex twice in your car and then you dumped me.” I thought library sex would be more fun for their first encounter
Summary: Barney and Penelope's first encounter.
Beta: the very sweet
roland44. Many thanks to idioticonion for the countless read throughs and the impeccable support.Written for
idioticonion and the Smut Duel ChallengeThere was something about the Columbia University Library that made his prick twitch the moment he stepped through the double door. Maybe it was the smell of horny, college students sneaking naughty gropes under the study desks. Or perhaps, it was the smell of cute, academically-inclined cutlets just waiting to be corrupted, just waiting to be fucked.
Either way, it didn't really matter to him. He was just looking for a challenge that couldn't come from a few vodka cranberries or a dirty whisper to a drunk blonde outside the ladies' room at MacLaren's. And he was more than happy to convince these girls he was a TA or the Assistant Dean. They all got wet at the prospect of getting an 'A' and Barney was more than willing to dangle that possibility in front of them like a carrot on a stick.
As he slipped down the row marked 'Native American History and Culture', he spotted his target. A pretty wisp of a thing with curly brown hair, wire rimmed glasses, flowery shirt with bell bottom sleeves, and a soft leather brown skirt that skirted up her creamy thighs whenever she reached for the top shelf. She definitely had that sexy librarian look going on and he couldn't wait to make her hair come falling down in a cascade around her shoulders as she squeezed the life out of his cock with her slick pussy.
Barney absentmindedly grabbed a book from the shelf and flipped through the pages, softly chucking at the fact that it was a book on Native American sexuality. It was deliciously appropriate for what he had planned.
He glanced up at her through hooded eyes and a small grin twitched at the corners of his lips when her brows furrowed in frustration. "Can't find what you're looking for?"
The girl blinked, clearly startled by the presence of someone else in this row. "Actually, I was…" She looked at the book he was holding and her hands went instantly to her hips. "I was looking for that book. Do you mind?"
Barney feigned surprise and closed the book, handing it to her. "You know, I find it interesting that we would share such a unique interest in Native American culture. I've always found their culture to be filled with raw, primal intensity so I was not surprised to see that they fuck like they live."
The girl's eyes widened and her expression was a mixture of shock, disapproval, and intrigue. She was at the very least impressed with his depiction of Native American culture. "You…you shouldn't talk like that in here. People are…"
Barney stepped forward, closing the gap between them. His arm shot out behind her head to grip the bookshelf. In a nutshell, she was pinned and at his mercy. "Oh, but you like the way I'm talking don't you." His voice was low, husky, and sensuous and she was well on her way to melting under his spell.
"My name's Penelope," she murmured, getting the niceties out of the way. It wasn't like her to feel this way, with someone she just met. She was prone to at least wait till the third date before she would put out. But he was making her feel a blushing heat that enveloped her being and permeated her core. God, the way he talked about fucking, about living…it was really turning her on. "I'm a doctorate student. You?"
"Barney. Second year law student." It was a convenient identity, stolen straight from Marshall, of course. But by the time he was done, the stupid details wouldn't matter.
"Oh," Penelope whimpered, as Barney's pelvis brushed against hers, making her very aware of the hardness growing there.
"See what you do to me, baby," Barney whispered, running his fingers through her hair with his free hand and gripping the bookshelf tighter with the other. "I get hard just looking into those pretty brown eyes."
Penelope's breath hitched and her hands wrapped around Barney's neck. "Yeah?"
Barney nodded. God, this girl was easy and she wasn't even drunk. And what a benefit it would be if she thought this was all her idea. That trick always made walking away that much easier. "Want you to take me right here and now, baby."
Penelope felt her mind swarm with lusty thoughts, clouding at any sense of reason she might have had. She captured his mouth in a smoking, sultry kiss and Barney moaned, sending vibrations of electricity into her lips. Their mouths fused together, drawing life and lust with each breath, each swirl of their tongues dancing to the tune that had been history's greatest invention. His hand left her hair and moved down her back, the soft cotton of her top shifting under his touch until he had settled on the curve of her ass. And to his pleasant surprise: no panty lines. This girl had obviously been planning for some kind of spontaneous romp when she woke up this morning.
"You dirty, little tramp," Barney hissed. "You wanted this to happen all day. Bet you wanted someone to notice. Wanted someone to catch you. Bet you were hoping someone would peek under your skirt while you studied."
Penelope purred, her body flushing with the heat of her passion, and her fingers tangling in his blond curls. She wasn't even remotely offended that he had discovered her secret. "I'm a bad girl. A very bad girl."
"You know what I do to bad girls?" Barney asked, moving his lips from her mouth to the column of her throat. His tongue flicked against her pulsing vein, making her blood run faster, making her heart pump harder. "I make them prove it."
His hand moved from the girl's ass to his zipper. With nimble fingers and speed, he got his pants opened and freed his engorged cock from its confines. She wasn't the only one who had forgotten to wear underwear today.
Penelope shuddered and wrapped her legs around his waist, digging the heels of her ballet flats into the base of his spine. Barney's hand cupped her ass to help her balance and he felt the bookshelf groan under the pressure. He only hoped the damn piece of furniture would hold up long enough for him to get his satisfaction.
"Fuck me," Penelope whispered.
"Anything you want, baby." Barney replied, brushing the tip of his cock against her clit. "You on birth control?"
Penelope shook her head in response and uttered a brief: "Uh huh."
"Good," Barney replied. He didn't even need to see what he was doing to know where her entrance was. He just lined up and went in for the kill. She instantly bucked against him, rocking her hips, and moaning softly as he built a rhythm for them, feeling out every nuance of her body, and guiding her responses with experienced vigor.
Penelope bounced against him, forcing her muscles to strain and flex from the exertion. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying desperately not to moan, not to scream, not to draw attention. She felt lucky that Native Americans weren't high on people's book lists. It helped her concentrate on the motions, the movement. Up, down, up, down…
Barney thrust into her with earnest, his balls tightening, getting heavier with each stroke. He was gonna come…come inside her…fill her to the brim with his power, his hunger. Wanted her to feel exactly what she did to him. He captured her lips in a ravaging kiss as he climaxed, feeling her lock around him, her body going into the spasm of her own rich orgasm.
Barney gently lowered her to the floor, and her arms clung tight to him, finding her support as her legs wobbled from the loss of direct blood flow.
"Did I prove it?" Penelope whispered.
Barney sighed, slowly dislodging her arms from his neck. He zipped up his pants and straightened his tie. The mask falls away, disintegrating, crumbling. For the first time, she gets to see his face, his reality, his indifference. He's just a devil with a charming grin and if she was looking, he bet she could see right through him. But based on the dreamy look in her eyes, this wasn’t a game he was going to lose.
He glanced down at his watch and feigned expression of panic creased his features. “Shit! I’ve gotta get to class, babe. Our professor has been riding us so hard this week and she’ll throw the book at me if I’m late again. Call you later?” With a quick turn of his heel, he disappeared down the hallway, leaving a stunned and sated girl in his wake.
"But you…" Penelope started, realizing she hadn’t given him her phone number. She supposed he probably could check the campus directory if he wanted to see her again. It wasn’t like her name was hard to find. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt and leaned against the bookcase, latching onto the fantasy that this magnificent stranger wouldn’t be just another one night stand.
As Barney hit the front doors, he felt the wind brush across his face and felt a stirring in his pants as he thought back to the girl he had just left behind. His mind still echoed with the sounds of her soft moans and her bad girl promises. She was definitely worth a second ride on the Barney train. Of course, that meant taking a few extra leads but he could spare the time if she would screw the rod.
And all he had to do was get into a bar, feed her a few drinks, and maybe get her into the backseat of his Mercedes-Benz. Or if he really wanted to keep up the ruse, steal the backseat of Marshall’s Fiero. Those kids wouldn’t notice a few new stains anyways.
“Barney.”
Her voice caught his attention and he turned around to face his latest conquest. He had barely made it around the street corner before she had tracked him down all by herself. “Yeah?”
A sweet smile ghosted the corners of her mouth and she tilted her head, looking coy and innocent. A stark contrast to the way her face had contorted in debauched bliss a few minutes earlier. “Wanna get a drink later?”
Barney looked up to the heavens, sending a mental thank you to the god of ‘getting laid twice.’ It still amazed him how often this shit worked out for him, even if it really only worked every other time.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2009-02-19 04:34 am (UTC)mmmmm
*squee*
*incoherence* =D
Firstly, great use of a minor character! Secondly, great use of Native American History and library shelves. Thirdly, great great great ending!
Or if he really wanted to keep up the ruse, steal the backseat of Marshall’s Fiero. Those kids wouldn’t notice a few new stains anyways. Nice!
no subject
on 2009-02-19 06:04 am (UTC)Thanks for all your help. I love being able to get this stuff up shortly after I finish a draft. Makes me feel good inside.
Oh and Tara and I talked about the car issue. As is common in a show about flash fowards and flashbacks, there is inconsistency in that Barney drives the moving van in Season 2. Apparently, it's something Neil laughs about interviews :)
no subject
on 2009-02-19 07:41 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-19 03:11 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading!
no subject
on 2009-02-19 10:07 am (UTC)And I love you forever for writing this line.
>The mask falls away, disintegrating, crumbling. For the first time, she gets to see his face, his reality, his indifference. He's just a devil with a charming grin and if she was looking, he bet she could see right through him.
If Barney wasn't so pretty, we'd all realise what an evil bastard he is.
no subject
on 2009-02-19 03:10 pm (UTC)I like that line too.
*nods* I've been with men just like Barney. And frankly, it hurts.
no subject
on 2009-02-19 04:02 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-19 04:04 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-19 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-02-19 04:16 pm (UTC)Yay for "nnngghhh" noises. That's what I'm going for :)
And Penelope is the girl that helped Ted do the rain dance in Season 1.
no subject
on 2009-02-19 04:17 pm (UTC)And this goes on for a month?! This is like, the best month ever, haha.
no subject
on 2009-02-19 04:18 pm (UTC)And then we're having a vote on all the entries
no subject
on 2009-06-02 04:19 am (UTC)Awesome! You are truly the smut champ!
no subject
on 2009-06-02 04:21 am (UTC)Library sex was just too tempting to say no too.
And hee :) Thanks!