HIMYM: Turning 30 (Barney/Ted) FRAO/NC-17
Sep. 24th, 2009 10:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoggedTitle: Turning 30
Author: snogged
Pairing: Barney/Ted
Rating/Warnings: NC-17/FRAO; pure, unadulterated PWP
Summary: Barney's freaking out about his 30th birthday.
Setting: AU
Word Count: 343
Women With Red Pencils:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
idioticonion and secondmezzanine
This fic is dedicated with crazy, insane fan love tootempora42 who deserves a pervy birthday drabble and a snuggle.
“Ted…Ted…what did you do when you turned 30?”
A small, knowing smile tugs at the corners of Ted’s lips as he starts pouring the electric blue liquid into the shot glasses that Barney downs in record time. Wait for it…
“Wait…fuck… You haven’t even turned 30 yet. You’ve still got 29-year-old skin. You don’t have to worry about these things for a whole year.”
Ted holds back a crack about revoking Barney’s dude membership because he’s starting to sound a little too much like a woman. Instead, he places a light kiss on the hollow behind Barney’s ear, hoping to distract him.
“Ted..that’s…not…help…hurting. I should be planning for this…and not getting distracted by your drinks and your…your tongue…. There are violations of the Bro Code to consider because the age-difference formula prevents me from dating any slut younger than 22. Ted! They start getting wrinkles at 22.”
Ted’s tongue develops a mind of its own, trailing and swirling over panicked, heated flesh. Starting with the long, column of Barney’s neck, down the flat expanse of Barney’s chest, rolling over the bulbous head of Barney’s cock. Mmm…naked nights are way better than tuxedo nights. Even if they tend to line up back to back…
“Ted…Ted, I want strippers.”
Ted’s mouth wraps around him, drawing Barney’s coiled tension and nerves out of the tip with each suck, each swirl, each convulsive swallow. His throat aches from the pressure and the stretching but he doesn’t care. He takes care of his bro.
“Ted…wanna…wanna have…”
It doesn’t take long before Barney stops talking. Pants and groans replace words as Barney’s balls draw upwards and his dick twitches with furious need. Barney’s fingers curl into Ted’s hair as his orgasm curls through him, warm spunk hitting the back of Ted’s throat.
And as Ted cleans him up with diligent strokes, turning 30 suddenly doesn’t seem so bad after all.
Author: snogged
Pairing: Barney/Ted
Rating/Warnings: NC-17/FRAO; pure, unadulterated PWP
Summary: Barney's freaking out about his 30th birthday.
Setting: AU
Word Count: 343
Women With Red Pencils:
idioticonion and secondmezzanineThis fic is dedicated with crazy, insane fan love to
otempora42 who deserves a pervy birthday drabble and a snuggle.“Ted…Ted…what did you do when you turned 30?”
A small, knowing smile tugs at the corners of Ted’s lips as he starts pouring the electric blue liquid into the shot glasses that Barney downs in record time. Wait for it…
“Wait…fuck… You haven’t even turned 30 yet. You’ve still got 29-year-old skin. You don’t have to worry about these things for a whole year.”
Ted holds back a crack about revoking Barney’s dude membership because he’s starting to sound a little too much like a woman. Instead, he places a light kiss on the hollow behind Barney’s ear, hoping to distract him.
“Ted..that’s…not…help…hurting. I should be planning for this…and not getting distracted by your drinks and your…your tongue…. There are violations of the Bro Code to consider because the age-difference formula prevents me from dating any slut younger than 22. Ted! They start getting wrinkles at 22.”
Ted’s tongue develops a mind of its own, trailing and swirling over panicked, heated flesh. Starting with the long, column of Barney’s neck, down the flat expanse of Barney’s chest, rolling over the bulbous head of Barney’s cock. Mmm…naked nights are way better than tuxedo nights. Even if they tend to line up back to back…
“Ted…Ted, I want strippers.”
Ted’s mouth wraps around him, drawing Barney’s coiled tension and nerves out of the tip with each suck, each swirl, each convulsive swallow. His throat aches from the pressure and the stretching but he doesn’t care. He takes care of his bro.
“Ted…wanna…wanna have…”
It doesn’t take long before Barney stops talking. Pants and groans replace words as Barney’s balls draw upwards and his dick twitches with furious need. Barney’s fingers curl into Ted’s hair as his orgasm curls through him, warm spunk hitting the back of Ted’s throat.
And as Ted cleans him up with diligent strokes, turning 30 suddenly doesn’t seem so bad after all.
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no subject
on 2009-09-25 05:10 am (UTC)*pretend I'm thinking up really witty compliments*
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on 2009-09-25 12:31 pm (UTC)I shall most definitely think those things
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on 2009-09-25 06:16 am (UTC)Guhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
*iz ded*
*iz still ded*
HOTNESS. SMUTTY SLASHY SMUT SMUT GUHHHH.
Well, I loved it.
Seriously.
no subject
on 2009-09-25 12:30 pm (UTC)Although...
*walks into the underworld and drags you back*
no subject
on 2009-09-25 07:32 am (UTC)season 7, man. :-D
no subject
on 2009-09-25 12:30 pm (UTC)S7 "When All Your Slash Dream Come True"
no subject
on 2009-09-25 08:14 am (UTC)Hot damn! ;)
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on 2009-09-25 12:28 pm (UTC)I had to throw that in there. Especially since Marshall doesn't get invited to those :)
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on 2009-09-26 07:53 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-09-25 08:27 am (UTC)That was delicious hun!
xxxx
no subject
on 2009-09-25 12:27 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-09-25 08:54 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-09-25 12:25 pm (UTC)*sends NPH to bring you back to life*
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on 2009-09-25 10:51 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-09-25 12:24 pm (UTC)I'm way glad to hear it :)
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on 2009-09-25 11:40 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-09-25 12:24 pm (UTC)And hee! Ted/Barney is awesome
no subject
on 2009-09-26 09:33 pm (UTC)<3
no subject
on 2009-10-01 12:35 am (UTC)They're quite fun to write :)