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snoggedTitle: Hell Can Be Anywhere (1/6)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
snogged and idioticonion
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. Joss Whedon and co. own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Angelus/Ted with a Willow/Marshall friendship
Word Count: 2013
Rating/Warnings: FRAO/NC-17 (this part FRM/R); dark, slash, adult language (sexual slurs), violence, abduction, mind-fuckery, dub-con/non-con.
Summary: This is the story that Ted will never tell his kids...
Setting: Post-S7 of Buffy. Post-S5 of Angel. I consider it AU though, since Angel's lost his soul again.
Beta:rockstarpeach. Please be aware, however, that this was co-written by an American and a Brit. We chose to utilise the British spellings of things, and it’s our responsibility if there are any inconsistencies.
A/N: This project started way back in August whenidioticonion was in the mood to write something that didn’t feature Barney Stinson. By activating our twin powers, we were able to come up with this. Hope you enjoy it! Also, thanks must be made to velvetwhip for coming up with our title.
Angelus has an itch. The kind of itch that can’t get scratched in California. The kind of itch that demands a return to his original hell-hole in America. The Big, Juicy Apple. New York City.
Only this time, he isn't gonna be sucking on the blood of sewer rats and living in a dumpster. First, he has more class than that. And it’s much more fun to torture someone when they could be stretched and made to scream in an old, abandoned warehouse. It has been so long since his ears had heard the dulcet tones of a proper tortured scream. Been so long since he's felt his dick leap with sadistic anticipation of having someone at his mercy.
He just needs to find a victim. A victim he could make writhe and twist. A victim he could manipulate into thinking that the pain and torture were what they wanted. Torture is always more fun when they had a lusty, guilt complex, adding a truly special spice to the theatrics.
He taps his finger against his chin, eyes scanning the tightly packed crowd until his eyes settle on a brunet so desperate for love that his blood sang for it.
Perfect.
***
Okay, so it's really unlikely that this girl isn't going to be his "The One." In fact, Ted's pretty sure that this girl isn't anyone's "The One." But she's fluffy and light and blond and cute and he's a little drunk. And she's available and obviously into him, but somehow that makes him feel even more lonely than usual.
When did he sink so low? How did it come to be that he woke up one morning and he wasn't married, wasn't a successful architect (or even a successful college professor) and his horizons had sunk lower than the girls he was due to teach come fall.
When did drinking on the roof in a kiddie pool with Barney become the highlight of his summer?
When did leaping across that roof onto his neighbor's patio become the most daring thing he was capable of doing this year?
What happened to the Ted Mosby he hoped he'd become?
Tonight he's got an itch. That itch that makes him do bad and crazy things that might lead to tramp stamps or juicing with girls at two in the morning.
Tonight he's got that itch that means he just wants to take a chance on something.
He's pretty sick of being alone.
***
Angelus slides through the bar crowd, zeroing in on his target, and noting the look of quiet desperation clouding those pretty brown eyes. His first step though required requires getting rid of the girl.
The fluffly, blonde girl who reminded him of his failure. She's almost an exact replica of the bubblegum Slayer that should have died at his hands the first day they met. He growls low in his throat, arm snaking around the girl's waist. He smirks when she leans back against him, settling her weight against her chest. This is too easy. Girls are always so easy.
He had has Dracula to thank for that.
He watches the vein in her neck pulse and he feels the hunger stir within him, desperate to drag her out to the back alley and drain her to within an each of her life.
That would settle his problem real nicely because he wanted wants the boy. And he wanted wants him alone. And if he took takes the girl, there is no doubt this pretty stranger would will have his hero complex triggered and Angelus couldn't can’t wait to see him try and save the day.
"Come on, baby. I wanna show you something."
The girl giggles, tilting her head to look at him. "Okay."
God...this is too easy.
Who is this guy? Who the hell does he think he is?
"Hey!" Ted tries to say, tries to intervene as the stocky, chiseled-jawed stranger drags his date away through the crowd. Admittedly, the girl doesn't exactly struggle and the last thing Ted wants is a fight (especially on Doug's off-night!) but he can't just let this happen.
Ted looks around for Barney, who's hitting on another girl over at the other side of the bar. Not that his friend will have his back anyway. Last time he got in a fight, Barney ran screaming like a girl.
Ted takes a breath. This is MacLaren's! His bar! There are loads of people around. What's the worst that can happen?
He rushes out through the kitchen into the back alley - following the stranger and the bimbo he never really wanted to sleep with anyway.
Damn chivalry!
Angelus smirks, vampiric senses picking up on the buzz of adrenaline in the air and the pound of footsteps.
The girl in his arms sighs and giggles, jabbing his shoulder with her finger. "So what's this surprise, Mister? I didn't come all the way out here for nothing."
"Of course you didn't, babe. And I promise I won't disappoint you."
His face shifts, ridges creasing his forehead, eyes turning feral yellow, sharp fangs protruding from his lips. The girl's mouth drops, body going rigid as the freeze response sinks in. She's too weak to fight him, too drunk. He grabs a fistful of her hair and roughly yanks her head to the side, making her gasp.
He sees his target slip out the doorway and he flashes the boy a wicked grin before dropping his mouth to the girl's throat, letting his fangs pierce the delicate flesh.
An explosion of iron, crimson, and booze flowers across his tongue, courses down his throat.
Fuck!
This is the good stuff.
"What the-?"
Ted's feet trip each other up and he tries to halt his headlong dive into the alley. The stranger's face! My god, he looks like he's been in a car crash! His entire face is scarred and ridged and mutated. It's vile, terrifying and monstrous.
And Ted is shit-scared right now.
He backs away, his mouth opening and closing, making no sound. He watches as the tall stranger bites into the girl's neck, watches the blood well up against his lips, dripping in fat black droplets onto the shadowed floor of the alleyway.
He gulps as the stranger's golden eyes flick over to him, just for a second.
He wants to intervene. Wants to. But he's rooted to the spot.
Angelus smiles into the girl's skin, sucking the last few drops from her before letting the girl drop to the ground. Her body hits the concrete with a soft thump and he looks up to see the brown-haired boy who suddenly looks a bit like that stupid whelp, Xander.
He takes a step over the still body and gracefully moves towards his real victim with the devil dancing in his eyes.
"Did you like the show, boy? I bet I could make yours better. I envision a story in three parts. Act I: The boy meets the demon. Act II: The demon tortures the boy in the most delicious ways possible. Act III: The boy surrenders his whole being to the demon. But right as the curtain falls...boom! Broken neck. Surprise ending."
He chuckles, theatrically spreading his arms, amused by his own brilliance. "And it looks to me that Act I is just about over."
Ted takes a step back, his shoulders hitting the beam of the door. "Hey!" He says crossly. "I'm not your boy! You can't be any older than me!"
The words are out of his mouth (why does he always have to correct people?) before he realises how foolish he's being. This guy is clearly insane and murderous (and his contact lenses are really good! Ted would love some of those for next Halloween, but that's off topic) and crazy.
"Torture..?"
Crazy is the same as insane. It's a tautology. He doesn't need to think both words to describe the demonic visage before him.
Stupid rambling brain!
Ted tries to manoeuvre his body through the door. If it's fight or flight right now, bring on the wings!
"Tsk. Tsk." Angelus smirks, watching the boy make a futile attempt to escape back into the bar.
"Not gonna let you run away on me, boy. Didn't your daddy ever teach you that bad boys get punished?" His hand shoots forward, capturing the boy's wrist and pulling him close, making their bodies flush, making this boy fully aware of how eager Angelus is to get him away from here, to a place where anything could happen, and no one would hear him scream. "Or do you need a daddy to show just what happens to boys who don't listen?"
He leans in close to the boy's ear, nipping at the soft lobe. "Now, are you gonna come willingly or should I knock you unconscious."
Never has he been so scared, so instantly, so consumed by fear.
For a second, Ted freezes, until a sharp pain, like the crazy guy is trying to pierce his ear for him, jerks him out of his reverie.
He's inept, but he lands a kick on the guy's leg (he might as well be kicking a fire hydrant for all the good it does him), elbows him in the rib with his other arm and jerks his body away.
He doesn't want to end up like that girl on the floor, that's all he knows. Like that poor girl with her throat torn out.
He struggles and kicks out and tries to break free.
Angelus chuckles, low and dangerous, pulling him closer, feeling the effects of the boy's struggle against the straining beast in his pants. Nothing like a good struggle to turn him on even more.
"Come on, baby...don't fight me. You know you want to see what I can do. Gets you a little hard just thinking about all the things I could show you?"
He purses his lips, hands closing around the stranger's throat. Like putting a collar on a dog, it locks him in place. "I don't think we've been properly introduced yet. Name's Angelus."
The guy’s grip is like a vice. What the hell kind of name is Angelus anyways? Italian…?
Ted does try to struggle, although he’s aware how feeble his efforts are. Then his groin bumps against the bigger guy’s and… oh holy crap! He can feel the crazy dude’s erection through his pants. He chokes as his legs practically give way under him and the stranger’s words make it into his brain.
“I’m not gay!” He tries to say. Jesus! Why do people assume he is? Just because he takes care of his appearance and he’s, like, totally scored in a gay club, and his hair looks really, really good today? That’s no indication of his sexuality!
Angelus chuckles, amused by his new toy, his new plaything. Humans can be so stupid about these things. In a game of power and control, gender doesn't really make a lick of difference. What matters is how they come to submit to the will of their tormentor and those that don't follow the easy road are the ones that always deserve just a little extra.
He remembered Spike being one of those idiots. Selfish and arrogant until he was down on his knees, screaming like a two-cent whore while his pretty ass got split in two. He felt giddy with the knowledge that he could do the same thing to this pretty boy.
"Don't worry, baby. I don't give two shits who you screw for fun. Girls, boys, tube socks...all that matters is that I'm gonna break you. And have a gay old time doing it."
Ted glares at him. "Hey! Who told you about the tube socks?" Then he gulps, realising what he's said. "I mean…" he chokes as Angelus drags him bodily out of the alley and away from the safety of MacLarens.
As Angelus's hand slowly squeezes his throat, constricting it, Ted begins to pass out, only just conscious of his feet leaving the pavement entirely when Angelus takes to the rooftops.
Part 2
Author:
snogged and idioticonionDisclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own How I Met Your Mother. Joss Whedon and co. own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Pairing: Angelus/Ted with a Willow/Marshall friendship
Word Count: 2013
Rating/Warnings: FRAO/NC-17 (this part FRM/R); dark, slash, adult language (sexual slurs), violence, abduction, mind-fuckery, dub-con/non-con.
Summary: This is the story that Ted will never tell his kids...
Setting: Post-S7 of Buffy. Post-S5 of Angel. I consider it AU though, since Angel's lost his soul again.
Beta:
rockstarpeach. Please be aware, however, that this was co-written by an American and a Brit. We chose to utilise the British spellings of things, and it’s our responsibility if there are any inconsistencies.A/N: This project started way back in August when
idioticonion was in the mood to write something that didn’t feature Barney Stinson. By activating our twin powers, we were able to come up with this. Hope you enjoy it! Also, thanks must be made to velvetwhip for coming up with our title.Angelus has an itch. The kind of itch that can’t get scratched in California. The kind of itch that demands a return to his original hell-hole in America. The Big, Juicy Apple. New York City.
Only this time, he isn't gonna be sucking on the blood of sewer rats and living in a dumpster. First, he has more class than that. And it’s much more fun to torture someone when they could be stretched and made to scream in an old, abandoned warehouse. It has been so long since his ears had heard the dulcet tones of a proper tortured scream. Been so long since he's felt his dick leap with sadistic anticipation of having someone at his mercy.
He just needs to find a victim. A victim he could make writhe and twist. A victim he could manipulate into thinking that the pain and torture were what they wanted. Torture is always more fun when they had a lusty, guilt complex, adding a truly special spice to the theatrics.
He taps his finger against his chin, eyes scanning the tightly packed crowd until his eyes settle on a brunet so desperate for love that his blood sang for it.
Perfect.
***
Okay, so it's really unlikely that this girl isn't going to be his "The One." In fact, Ted's pretty sure that this girl isn't anyone's "The One." But she's fluffy and light and blond and cute and he's a little drunk. And she's available and obviously into him, but somehow that makes him feel even more lonely than usual.
When did he sink so low? How did it come to be that he woke up one morning and he wasn't married, wasn't a successful architect (or even a successful college professor) and his horizons had sunk lower than the girls he was due to teach come fall.
When did drinking on the roof in a kiddie pool with Barney become the highlight of his summer?
When did leaping across that roof onto his neighbor's patio become the most daring thing he was capable of doing this year?
What happened to the Ted Mosby he hoped he'd become?
Tonight he's got an itch. That itch that makes him do bad and crazy things that might lead to tramp stamps or juicing with girls at two in the morning.
Tonight he's got that itch that means he just wants to take a chance on something.
He's pretty sick of being alone.
***
Angelus slides through the bar crowd, zeroing in on his target, and noting the look of quiet desperation clouding those pretty brown eyes. His first step though required requires getting rid of the girl.
The fluffly, blonde girl who reminded him of his failure. She's almost an exact replica of the bubblegum Slayer that should have died at his hands the first day they met. He growls low in his throat, arm snaking around the girl's waist. He smirks when she leans back against him, settling her weight against her chest. This is too easy. Girls are always so easy.
He had has Dracula to thank for that.
He watches the vein in her neck pulse and he feels the hunger stir within him, desperate to drag her out to the back alley and drain her to within an each of her life.
That would settle his problem real nicely because he wanted wants the boy. And he wanted wants him alone. And if he took takes the girl, there is no doubt this pretty stranger would will have his hero complex triggered and Angelus couldn't can’t wait to see him try and save the day.
"Come on, baby. I wanna show you something."
The girl giggles, tilting her head to look at him. "Okay."
God...this is too easy.
Who is this guy? Who the hell does he think he is?
"Hey!" Ted tries to say, tries to intervene as the stocky, chiseled-jawed stranger drags his date away through the crowd. Admittedly, the girl doesn't exactly struggle and the last thing Ted wants is a fight (especially on Doug's off-night!) but he can't just let this happen.
Ted looks around for Barney, who's hitting on another girl over at the other side of the bar. Not that his friend will have his back anyway. Last time he got in a fight, Barney ran screaming like a girl.
Ted takes a breath. This is MacLaren's! His bar! There are loads of people around. What's the worst that can happen?
He rushes out through the kitchen into the back alley - following the stranger and the bimbo he never really wanted to sleep with anyway.
Damn chivalry!
Angelus smirks, vampiric senses picking up on the buzz of adrenaline in the air and the pound of footsteps.
The girl in his arms sighs and giggles, jabbing his shoulder with her finger. "So what's this surprise, Mister? I didn't come all the way out here for nothing."
"Of course you didn't, babe. And I promise I won't disappoint you."
His face shifts, ridges creasing his forehead, eyes turning feral yellow, sharp fangs protruding from his lips. The girl's mouth drops, body going rigid as the freeze response sinks in. She's too weak to fight him, too drunk. He grabs a fistful of her hair and roughly yanks her head to the side, making her gasp.
He sees his target slip out the doorway and he flashes the boy a wicked grin before dropping his mouth to the girl's throat, letting his fangs pierce the delicate flesh.
An explosion of iron, crimson, and booze flowers across his tongue, courses down his throat.
Fuck!
This is the good stuff.
"What the-?"
Ted's feet trip each other up and he tries to halt his headlong dive into the alley. The stranger's face! My god, he looks like he's been in a car crash! His entire face is scarred and ridged and mutated. It's vile, terrifying and monstrous.
And Ted is shit-scared right now.
He backs away, his mouth opening and closing, making no sound. He watches as the tall stranger bites into the girl's neck, watches the blood well up against his lips, dripping in fat black droplets onto the shadowed floor of the alleyway.
He gulps as the stranger's golden eyes flick over to him, just for a second.
He wants to intervene. Wants to. But he's rooted to the spot.
Angelus smiles into the girl's skin, sucking the last few drops from her before letting the girl drop to the ground. Her body hits the concrete with a soft thump and he looks up to see the brown-haired boy who suddenly looks a bit like that stupid whelp, Xander.
He takes a step over the still body and gracefully moves towards his real victim with the devil dancing in his eyes.
"Did you like the show, boy? I bet I could make yours better. I envision a story in three parts. Act I: The boy meets the demon. Act II: The demon tortures the boy in the most delicious ways possible. Act III: The boy surrenders his whole being to the demon. But right as the curtain falls...boom! Broken neck. Surprise ending."
He chuckles, theatrically spreading his arms, amused by his own brilliance. "And it looks to me that Act I is just about over."
Ted takes a step back, his shoulders hitting the beam of the door. "Hey!" He says crossly. "I'm not your boy! You can't be any older than me!"
The words are out of his mouth (why does he always have to correct people?) before he realises how foolish he's being. This guy is clearly insane and murderous (and his contact lenses are really good! Ted would love some of those for next Halloween, but that's off topic) and crazy.
"Torture..?"
Crazy is the same as insane. It's a tautology. He doesn't need to think both words to describe the demonic visage before him.
Stupid rambling brain!
Ted tries to manoeuvre his body through the door. If it's fight or flight right now, bring on the wings!
"Tsk. Tsk." Angelus smirks, watching the boy make a futile attempt to escape back into the bar.
"Not gonna let you run away on me, boy. Didn't your daddy ever teach you that bad boys get punished?" His hand shoots forward, capturing the boy's wrist and pulling him close, making their bodies flush, making this boy fully aware of how eager Angelus is to get him away from here, to a place where anything could happen, and no one would hear him scream. "Or do you need a daddy to show just what happens to boys who don't listen?"
He leans in close to the boy's ear, nipping at the soft lobe. "Now, are you gonna come willingly or should I knock you unconscious."
Never has he been so scared, so instantly, so consumed by fear.
For a second, Ted freezes, until a sharp pain, like the crazy guy is trying to pierce his ear for him, jerks him out of his reverie.
He's inept, but he lands a kick on the guy's leg (he might as well be kicking a fire hydrant for all the good it does him), elbows him in the rib with his other arm and jerks his body away.
He doesn't want to end up like that girl on the floor, that's all he knows. Like that poor girl with her throat torn out.
He struggles and kicks out and tries to break free.
Angelus chuckles, low and dangerous, pulling him closer, feeling the effects of the boy's struggle against the straining beast in his pants. Nothing like a good struggle to turn him on even more.
"Come on, baby...don't fight me. You know you want to see what I can do. Gets you a little hard just thinking about all the things I could show you?"
He purses his lips, hands closing around the stranger's throat. Like putting a collar on a dog, it locks him in place. "I don't think we've been properly introduced yet. Name's Angelus."
The guy’s grip is like a vice. What the hell kind of name is Angelus anyways? Italian…?
Ted does try to struggle, although he’s aware how feeble his efforts are. Then his groin bumps against the bigger guy’s and… oh holy crap! He can feel the crazy dude’s erection through his pants. He chokes as his legs practically give way under him and the stranger’s words make it into his brain.
“I’m not gay!” He tries to say. Jesus! Why do people assume he is? Just because he takes care of his appearance and he’s, like, totally scored in a gay club, and his hair looks really, really good today? That’s no indication of his sexuality!
Angelus chuckles, amused by his new toy, his new plaything. Humans can be so stupid about these things. In a game of power and control, gender doesn't really make a lick of difference. What matters is how they come to submit to the will of their tormentor and those that don't follow the easy road are the ones that always deserve just a little extra.
He remembered Spike being one of those idiots. Selfish and arrogant until he was down on his knees, screaming like a two-cent whore while his pretty ass got split in two. He felt giddy with the knowledge that he could do the same thing to this pretty boy.
"Don't worry, baby. I don't give two shits who you screw for fun. Girls, boys, tube socks...all that matters is that I'm gonna break you. And have a gay old time doing it."
Ted glares at him. "Hey! Who told you about the tube socks?" Then he gulps, realising what he's said. "I mean…" he chokes as Angelus drags him bodily out of the alley and away from the safety of MacLarens.
As Angelus's hand slowly squeezes his throat, constricting it, Ted begins to pass out, only just conscious of his feet leaving the pavement entirely when Angelus takes to the rooftops.
Part 2
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2009-11-21 09:03 am (UTC)I like.
no subject
on 2009-11-21 03:17 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-11-22 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-11-24 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-11-23 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-11-24 03:37 am (UTC)IO did a great job channeling the essence of Ted :) And I always thrill at the chance to unleash my inner Angelus ;)
I do hope you stick around to see how it goes!
no subject
on 2009-12-27 03:12 pm (UTC)I've always loved Angelus and yours is as evil as he can be:
He just needs to find a victim. A victim he could make writhe and twist. A victim he could manipulate into thinking that the pain and torture were what they wanted. Torture is always more fun when they had a lusty, guilt complex, adding a truly special spice to the theatrics.
Brilliant!
The insanity Angelus has, the perfect mix of crazy, dangerous and just plain fun:
"Did you like the show, boy? I bet I could make yours better. I envision a story in three parts. Act I: The boy meets the demon. Act II: The demon tortures the boy in the most delicious ways possible. Act III: The boy surrenders his whole being to the demon. But right as the curtain falls...boom! Broken neck. Surprise ending."
He chuckles, theatrically spreading his arms, amused by his own brilliance. "And it looks to me that Act I is just about over."
You've really got that down!
no subject
on 2009-12-27 03:14 pm (UTC)It thrills me that you like the character description of Angelus. He's truly one of my favorite characters from the show and we wanted to do him justice.
*hugs*