HIMYM: Defanged - FRT/PG - Vampire Lou
Mar. 16th, 2010 08:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoggedTitle: Defanged
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own the characters of How I Met Your Mother. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Character: Vampire Lou
Word Count: 634
Rating/Warnings: FRT/PG; gen fic, angst, some language
Setting: Pre-Season 1 to Season 5
Summary: Vampire Lou…An Untold Story.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rockstarpeach. All other mistakes are mine.
A/N: This idea has been bouncing in my head for awhile so I was pleased when my muse decided to let it out. Also, this is dedicated tohellolamppost17 as this was supposed to be her Christmas present and is now her ‘unbirthday’ present.
Lou’s first gig was an off-off-off-off-off-off-Broadway production written by his best friend and fellow theatre major, Steven, called Defanged. It was a badly written vampire tale that somehow managed to utilize the thunderous sounds of the bowling balls below as part of the mob riot. It was there when he first discovered he had a knack for improv comedy as he remembered the three people in the audience rolling on the floor in giggle fits around the second act.
It was also there that he’d first donned the red and black cape and white plastic fangs that would one day launch him into the living rooms of New York’s kung-fu movie enthusiasts because some dude from a cable network happened to be in the audience the night he drew peels of laughter with his flair for the comedics.
Not that he’d ever really understood how a man in a vampire costume connected to the Saturday afternoon kung-fu movie of the week, but he figured it probably boiled down to the same formula that made the Six Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon possible.
But his flash dance with fame ended when the Saturday movie stopped pulling in the expected ratings, right after his stint hosting the Local Area Media Awards no less, the network moved him to the recently emptied meteorologist slot on Metro News One.
As the weatherman, he was stripped of the cape and white cake makeup, until all that was left was puffy cheeks and a gut no one would want to remember. Sure, it had gotten him closer to Robin Scherbatsky who made his aging heart feel youthful every time she smiled, every time her eyes sparkled. He still remembered the way her lips had felt pressed against his cheeks when she’d won a LAMA. He still remembered that she’d never once cracked jokes or snickered when a stiff breeze came through the building like the rest of the Metro News douche bags when he tried to hide his receding hairline with a toupee for a few months.
As the years rolled by, Metro News One fell into a state of disrepair. The puns got worse and the standards lowered. Sandy Rivers had moved on to CNN, Robin had moved onto the early slot and he was working with washed-up news reporters who couldn’t find jobs elsewhere.
He no longer felt like the King of Improv Comedy or the toast of New York. Instead, he just felt like a chump, doomed to live out day after shitty day wearing a feigned smile and pointing at a green screen and hoping that maybe one person out there still tuned into them, despite how easy it was to access weather from their iPhones and their Internet browsers.
At least, he’d felt that way until he sat down in got the phone call from Come On! Get Up, New York in 2010. A pompous-sounding reporter named Don Frank had practically begged him to do an interview. Apparently, the guy had grown up watching Lou make-‘em-laugh every Saturday from 2-5 and he was hoping to meet a childhood hero. Lou had agreed, grateful for the chance to get around the circuit one more time.
After hanging up the phone, he sat down in front of his standard-issue dressing room mirror and took a good look at the man staring back at him. He’d pulled open the small drawer that held a few personal accoutrements and let a smile play at the corners of his lips when he found his old brush and a canister of white cake makeup.
Putting that face back on, effortlessly transforming himself back into the man he used to be, was all it took.
Vampire Lou was back and he was starving.
Author: snogged
Disclaimer: Carter Bays and Craig Thomas own the characters of How I Met Your Mother. I don’t. Please don’t sue.
Character: Vampire Lou
Word Count: 634
Rating/Warnings: FRT/PG; gen fic, angst, some language
Setting: Pre-Season 1 to Season 5
Summary: Vampire Lou…An Untold Story.
Beta:
rockstarpeach. All other mistakes are mine.A/N: This idea has been bouncing in my head for awhile so I was pleased when my muse decided to let it out. Also, this is dedicated to
hellolamppost17 as this was supposed to be her Christmas present and is now her ‘unbirthday’ present.Lou’s first gig was an off-off-off-off-off-off-Broadway production written by his best friend and fellow theatre major, Steven, called Defanged. It was a badly written vampire tale that somehow managed to utilize the thunderous sounds of the bowling balls below as part of the mob riot. It was there when he first discovered he had a knack for improv comedy as he remembered the three people in the audience rolling on the floor in giggle fits around the second act.
It was also there that he’d first donned the red and black cape and white plastic fangs that would one day launch him into the living rooms of New York’s kung-fu movie enthusiasts because some dude from a cable network happened to be in the audience the night he drew peels of laughter with his flair for the comedics.
Not that he’d ever really understood how a man in a vampire costume connected to the Saturday afternoon kung-fu movie of the week, but he figured it probably boiled down to the same formula that made the Six Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon possible.
But his flash dance with fame ended when the Saturday movie stopped pulling in the expected ratings, right after his stint hosting the Local Area Media Awards no less, the network moved him to the recently emptied meteorologist slot on Metro News One.
As the weatherman, he was stripped of the cape and white cake makeup, until all that was left was puffy cheeks and a gut no one would want to remember. Sure, it had gotten him closer to Robin Scherbatsky who made his aging heart feel youthful every time she smiled, every time her eyes sparkled. He still remembered the way her lips had felt pressed against his cheeks when she’d won a LAMA. He still remembered that she’d never once cracked jokes or snickered when a stiff breeze came through the building like the rest of the Metro News douche bags when he tried to hide his receding hairline with a toupee for a few months.
As the years rolled by, Metro News One fell into a state of disrepair. The puns got worse and the standards lowered. Sandy Rivers had moved on to CNN, Robin had moved onto the early slot and he was working with washed-up news reporters who couldn’t find jobs elsewhere.
He no longer felt like the King of Improv Comedy or the toast of New York. Instead, he just felt like a chump, doomed to live out day after shitty day wearing a feigned smile and pointing at a green screen and hoping that maybe one person out there still tuned into them, despite how easy it was to access weather from their iPhones and their Internet browsers.
At least, he’d felt that way until he sat down in got the phone call from Come On! Get Up, New York in 2010. A pompous-sounding reporter named Don Frank had practically begged him to do an interview. Apparently, the guy had grown up watching Lou make-‘em-laugh every Saturday from 2-5 and he was hoping to meet a childhood hero. Lou had agreed, grateful for the chance to get around the circuit one more time.
After hanging up the phone, he sat down in front of his standard-issue dressing room mirror and took a good look at the man staring back at him. He’d pulled open the small drawer that held a few personal accoutrements and let a smile play at the corners of his lips when he found his old brush and a canister of white cake makeup.
Putting that face back on, effortlessly transforming himself back into the man he used to be, was all it took.
Vampire Lou was back and he was starving.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2010-03-16 10:45 pm (UTC)Doing the banners for himym_awards last time made me think of Lou :)