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snoggedTitle: School Girl Slut-Up
Author: snogged
Parings: Robin/Barney, Lily/Marshall
Disclaimer: The characters of “How I Met Your Mother” belong to Carter Bays and Craig Thomas
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Warnings: sexual intercourse on a super slide, het
Spoilers: My interpretation of what Halloween 2008 (S4) should look like. Reference to the “Slutty Pumpkin”
Feedback: Yes, please.
A/N: This is my first ever HIMYM fic. I hope you all like it. Any mistakes are mine.
It was a typical autumn day in New York. The leaves were changing, the grass was getting browner, and McClaren’s Pub still served the best beer on tap. Lily was snuggled against Marshall’s shoulder, sipping her beer. They were both musing on the festivities they had planned for Halloween.
“Our costumes are beyond awesome. They’re so awesome that if you took the square root of awesome, you’d still get awesome. That’s just how awesome they are.” Marshall said, popping a chip into his mouth. “You guys are coming to the costume contest, right?”
He looked at Robin and Ted who were sitting on the other side of the table.
Ted shrugged. “I’ve got a date with Cassie tonight. I still don’t think she’s the one but hey, at least I’m not waiting on the roof again this year. The Slutty Pumpkin is a faded memory to me now.”
Robin sighed. “I haven’t decided yet. I’m still not sure I want to dress up for Halloween.”
“Robin,” Lily frowned. “It’s seriously fun dressing up. It’s the only time of the year where you get to do it.”
Robin took a large gulp of her martini, letting the gin and vermouth slide gently down her throat. “I’ll think about it, okay?”
“Halloween Carnival. Central Park. Who’s in?” Barney rushed up to the booth with a huge grin across his face.
“A carnival?” Lily choked. “Isn’t that like against your religion?”
“What’s not to love? Games. Booze. The tilt-a-whirl. Seriously, it’s the most awesome ride ever. You can get a girl so dizzy that she just falls right into your arms. So who’s in?”
“Not me,” Ted said, swallowing down part of his beer.
“I think we’re gonna skip too,” Marshall said, faking a cough and nudging Lily in the shoulder. “Lily and I need some more um…practice before tonight’s contest.”
Lily rolled her eyes and shrugged. Practice had nothing to do with their costumes. They were going as Batman and Catwoman so Marshall really just wanted to have sex.
Robin glanced down at her drink and back up at Barney. “I guess I could go with you. Not like I have anything else going on.”
Barney grinned and clapped his hands excitedly. “All right. Halloween Slut Up!”
Robin frowned. “This is a dress up thing?”
Barney curled his lip and looked at her like she was an alien that popped out of a birthday cake. “It’s Halloween, Scherbatsky, get with the program.”
Robin sighed. “All right, I’m sure I can scrounge up something. Meet me back here in an hour?”
Barney winked and pointed his fingers like a gun. “This is going to be legen-the most important part of the food pyramid is--”
“Dary,” Marshall chimed in, smiling.
Barney raised his hand in anticipation of a high five. Marshall obliged and Barney basked in the glow. His catchphrase was finally catching on after all these years.
*****
Robin smoothed out her skirt and walked back into the bar, taking a deep breath as all eyes instantly turned on her. It was the classic school girl look. Braided pigtails. Button-down white shirt accentuated by a demi-cut, black lace bra. A red pleated mini-skirt. White bobby socks. Patent-leather Mary Janes. Britney Spears would eat her own heart out. She had even added a small cherry to the top of her hot sundae by sucking on a green apple Blow-Pop.
Barney was dressed as a vampire. He made a pretty sexy one too. His hair was slicked back and he even had custom-made fangs which Robin saw when his mouth dropped open. Robin bet he could make Dracula drool.
“Hit me baby one more time,” Barney grinned wolfishly. His eyes devoured her curves and his dick hardened, making a noticeable tent in his jeans.
Robin rolled her eyes and popped out her sucker. “You ready, Dracula?”
Lily giggled, her eyes twinkling with mischievous delight. “Is that a Blow-Pop?”
Marshall leaned over and kissed his wife, feeling lucky to have a woman who had a knack for laughing at things that should be serious but sounded immature.
“Daddy’s home,” Barney said, rising to his feet. His eyes locked on the lollypop that she was conveniently holding in front of her rack.
“That still doesn’t work,” Robin retorted. “My daddy issues aren’t remotely desperate enough to fall for that line.”
Barney stuck out his bottom lip and pouted. “The Blow-Pop, Scherbatsky. God, do I have to explain everything to you people?”
Robin shook her head and walked out the door with Barney in tow.
*****
The carnival was pretty dead considering its location. Robin was actually grateful that the number of kids was at a staggering low. She hated when little brats drop their sticky food on the ground and she accidentally stepped in it. It was a total pain to remove.
Barney guided her over towards the giant, electric yellow side on the far side of the carnival. This section of the carnival was even deader. In fact, it was bordering on complete seclusion.
“The giant slide, huh?” Robin looked up at the towering structure and then turned her eyes on Barney. “Does this have anything to do with a desire to peek up my skirt?”
“What?” Barney feigned a shock expression but his glittering eyes betrayed his voice. “I would never do such a thing. I’m a perfect gentleman and an excellent bro. It would be against the bro code to look up your skirt.”
Robin snorted and handed three tickets to the carnie. “You’re a bad liar.”
Barney followed, slipping the carnie a $50 bill and whispering for him to leave. The carnie nodded and walked off towards the beer tent. Barney figured they had at least a half hour without anyone bothering them.
They climbed up the stairs with their brown, seed bags. “I’m gonna kick your ass, Stinson.” Robin challenged, situating herself on the first row of the slide.
Barney got into the row next to her and winked. “I’ve got a need for speed and there’s no stopping my awesome power.”
Robin pushed herself down the slide and let gravity do the work as she soared towards the bottom. Barney zipped passed her, his black satin cape billowing out behind him.
He reached the bottom first and turned his head to look at her. Sure enough, he could see a glimpse of the little slip of fabric between her legs. She wasn’t exactly being coy about covering up her naughty bits. It was almost like she wanted him to see.
He flashed back to the night he had spent bro-ing out with Robin and remembered her reaction when he went bare pickle in front of her. Tonight, though, she seemed like a different Robin. A slutty Robin even. That was the beauty of Halloween though. He loved watching girls unleash their inner ho.
Robin giggled as she came to a stop beside him. “You were looking.”
“You were showing.” Barney said quietly.
Their heads moved toward each other, hesitantly searching each other’s eyes for an answer to the question both of them had formed in their mind.
Robin pressed her lips against his and Barney pulled back, feeling suddenly uncertain about the situation. This was Robin. She knew his entire bag of dirty tricks. What if this was some sneaky trap of hers?
“Your move, Stinson,” Robin said, rubbing her hand across his thigh. “Are you going to listen to Barney, Jr. or are you going to listen to that other brain of yours?”
“What if they’re thinking the same thing?”
Barney captured her lips with his own and rolled his body on top of hers, nudging his leg between her thighs.
Robin ran her hands over his back, gripping at the fabric of his cape and rolling her hips, rubbing herself on his leg like a horny dog.
Barney squeezed her breast as he brushed his hand along the side of her body. He reached the hem of her skirt and slid it up around her hips.
Robin’s tongue swirled around his, mapping out each one of his taste buds. It was incredible how much she actually wanted this to be happening. This was Barney. This was New York’s finest player. But he knew how to play the game. He knew how to play it well and he was looking for the same things she was.
Barney moved his leg and reached his hand between them to unbutton his black pants. There wasn’t much wiggle room on the slide but he’d been in tighter spots before. He let his cock spring lose from its confines and he stroked it with his hand, prepping it for another legendary adventure with one of New York’s hottest. He was going to cross off three things on his list tonight. The first being doing it with a Catholic school girl, the second being the super slide, and the third being Robin. He grabbed a condom out of his pocket and slipped it on with the speed of an Olympic hurdler.
He pushed the thong to the side and slipped inside of her. The velvety walls of her pussy clung to him as he started thrusting. It was truly a delicious sin. Robin moaned and wrapped her legs around his waist, digging her Mary Janes into his butt cheeks.
Barney nipped at Robin’s neck, dragging his fake teeth over her pulse point as he hammered against her. Robin whimpered, flashes of her old high school fantasies of getting bitten by Dracula drifting pleasantly around her head.
Barney felt his orgasm course through him and based on Robin’s incessant panting, he knew her big O was close as well.
His climax was short but intense and his seed coated the inside of the latex. He always figured they should invent a condom that didn’t feel so darn gross and sticky afterwards but so far, the condom industry hadn’t jumped on that bandwagon.
Robin reached her climax as well and she bucked upwards in a release of pleasure. Barney grabbed the rails of the slide to keep from flying backwards.
Barney pulled out of her and rolled the condom off, tossing it to the side. He moved off of her and quickly readjusted himself. Robin did the same and tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear.
“We’ve never talking about this to anyone, right?” Barney asked.
“Not likely.” Robin replied.
“But we’re doing this again, sometime?” Barney eyed her curiously, obviously still caught in a lust-filled haze. “Like every Halloween from now until…I find someone better or you lose your figure.”
Robin chuckled and rolled her eyes. “You never will, Stinson. I’m the best there is.”
“Not likely.” Although it wasn’t true. He was about five steps away from declaring his devotion on the altar of her sex goddess-ness but he was trying to restrain himself.
Robin flashed him a grin and pushed her boobs together to create maximum cleavage. “These are never going away.”
Barney smiled. “Wanna go make fun of Marshall and Lily’s costumes?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Author: snogged
Parings: Robin/Barney, Lily/Marshall
Disclaimer: The characters of “How I Met Your Mother” belong to Carter Bays and Craig Thomas
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Warnings: sexual intercourse on a super slide, het
Spoilers: My interpretation of what Halloween 2008 (S4) should look like. Reference to the “Slutty Pumpkin”
Feedback: Yes, please.
A/N: This is my first ever HIMYM fic. I hope you all like it. Any mistakes are mine.
It was a typical autumn day in New York. The leaves were changing, the grass was getting browner, and McClaren’s Pub still served the best beer on tap. Lily was snuggled against Marshall’s shoulder, sipping her beer. They were both musing on the festivities they had planned for Halloween.
“Our costumes are beyond awesome. They’re so awesome that if you took the square root of awesome, you’d still get awesome. That’s just how awesome they are.” Marshall said, popping a chip into his mouth. “You guys are coming to the costume contest, right?”
He looked at Robin and Ted who were sitting on the other side of the table.
Ted shrugged. “I’ve got a date with Cassie tonight. I still don’t think she’s the one but hey, at least I’m not waiting on the roof again this year. The Slutty Pumpkin is a faded memory to me now.”
Robin sighed. “I haven’t decided yet. I’m still not sure I want to dress up for Halloween.”
“Robin,” Lily frowned. “It’s seriously fun dressing up. It’s the only time of the year where you get to do it.”
Robin took a large gulp of her martini, letting the gin and vermouth slide gently down her throat. “I’ll think about it, okay?”
“Halloween Carnival. Central Park. Who’s in?” Barney rushed up to the booth with a huge grin across his face.
“A carnival?” Lily choked. “Isn’t that like against your religion?”
“What’s not to love? Games. Booze. The tilt-a-whirl. Seriously, it’s the most awesome ride ever. You can get a girl so dizzy that she just falls right into your arms. So who’s in?”
“Not me,” Ted said, swallowing down part of his beer.
“I think we’re gonna skip too,” Marshall said, faking a cough and nudging Lily in the shoulder. “Lily and I need some more um…practice before tonight’s contest.”
Lily rolled her eyes and shrugged. Practice had nothing to do with their costumes. They were going as Batman and Catwoman so Marshall really just wanted to have sex.
Robin glanced down at her drink and back up at Barney. “I guess I could go with you. Not like I have anything else going on.”
Barney grinned and clapped his hands excitedly. “All right. Halloween Slut Up!”
Robin frowned. “This is a dress up thing?”
Barney curled his lip and looked at her like she was an alien that popped out of a birthday cake. “It’s Halloween, Scherbatsky, get with the program.”
Robin sighed. “All right, I’m sure I can scrounge up something. Meet me back here in an hour?”
Barney winked and pointed his fingers like a gun. “This is going to be legen-the most important part of the food pyramid is--”
“Dary,” Marshall chimed in, smiling.
Barney raised his hand in anticipation of a high five. Marshall obliged and Barney basked in the glow. His catchphrase was finally catching on after all these years.
*****
Robin smoothed out her skirt and walked back into the bar, taking a deep breath as all eyes instantly turned on her. It was the classic school girl look. Braided pigtails. Button-down white shirt accentuated by a demi-cut, black lace bra. A red pleated mini-skirt. White bobby socks. Patent-leather Mary Janes. Britney Spears would eat her own heart out. She had even added a small cherry to the top of her hot sundae by sucking on a green apple Blow-Pop.
Barney was dressed as a vampire. He made a pretty sexy one too. His hair was slicked back and he even had custom-made fangs which Robin saw when his mouth dropped open. Robin bet he could make Dracula drool.
“Hit me baby one more time,” Barney grinned wolfishly. His eyes devoured her curves and his dick hardened, making a noticeable tent in his jeans.
Robin rolled her eyes and popped out her sucker. “You ready, Dracula?”
Lily giggled, her eyes twinkling with mischievous delight. “Is that a Blow-Pop?”
Marshall leaned over and kissed his wife, feeling lucky to have a woman who had a knack for laughing at things that should be serious but sounded immature.
“Daddy’s home,” Barney said, rising to his feet. His eyes locked on the lollypop that she was conveniently holding in front of her rack.
“That still doesn’t work,” Robin retorted. “My daddy issues aren’t remotely desperate enough to fall for that line.”
Barney stuck out his bottom lip and pouted. “The Blow-Pop, Scherbatsky. God, do I have to explain everything to you people?”
Robin shook her head and walked out the door with Barney in tow.
*****
The carnival was pretty dead considering its location. Robin was actually grateful that the number of kids was at a staggering low. She hated when little brats drop their sticky food on the ground and she accidentally stepped in it. It was a total pain to remove.
Barney guided her over towards the giant, electric yellow side on the far side of the carnival. This section of the carnival was even deader. In fact, it was bordering on complete seclusion.
“The giant slide, huh?” Robin looked up at the towering structure and then turned her eyes on Barney. “Does this have anything to do with a desire to peek up my skirt?”
“What?” Barney feigned a shock expression but his glittering eyes betrayed his voice. “I would never do such a thing. I’m a perfect gentleman and an excellent bro. It would be against the bro code to look up your skirt.”
Robin snorted and handed three tickets to the carnie. “You’re a bad liar.”
Barney followed, slipping the carnie a $50 bill and whispering for him to leave. The carnie nodded and walked off towards the beer tent. Barney figured they had at least a half hour without anyone bothering them.
They climbed up the stairs with their brown, seed bags. “I’m gonna kick your ass, Stinson.” Robin challenged, situating herself on the first row of the slide.
Barney got into the row next to her and winked. “I’ve got a need for speed and there’s no stopping my awesome power.”
Robin pushed herself down the slide and let gravity do the work as she soared towards the bottom. Barney zipped passed her, his black satin cape billowing out behind him.
He reached the bottom first and turned his head to look at her. Sure enough, he could see a glimpse of the little slip of fabric between her legs. She wasn’t exactly being coy about covering up her naughty bits. It was almost like she wanted him to see.
He flashed back to the night he had spent bro-ing out with Robin and remembered her reaction when he went bare pickle in front of her. Tonight, though, she seemed like a different Robin. A slutty Robin even. That was the beauty of Halloween though. He loved watching girls unleash their inner ho.
Robin giggled as she came to a stop beside him. “You were looking.”
“You were showing.” Barney said quietly.
Their heads moved toward each other, hesitantly searching each other’s eyes for an answer to the question both of them had formed in their mind.
Robin pressed her lips against his and Barney pulled back, feeling suddenly uncertain about the situation. This was Robin. She knew his entire bag of dirty tricks. What if this was some sneaky trap of hers?
“Your move, Stinson,” Robin said, rubbing her hand across his thigh. “Are you going to listen to Barney, Jr. or are you going to listen to that other brain of yours?”
“What if they’re thinking the same thing?”
Barney captured her lips with his own and rolled his body on top of hers, nudging his leg between her thighs.
Robin ran her hands over his back, gripping at the fabric of his cape and rolling her hips, rubbing herself on his leg like a horny dog.
Barney squeezed her breast as he brushed his hand along the side of her body. He reached the hem of her skirt and slid it up around her hips.
Robin’s tongue swirled around his, mapping out each one of his taste buds. It was incredible how much she actually wanted this to be happening. This was Barney. This was New York’s finest player. But he knew how to play the game. He knew how to play it well and he was looking for the same things she was.
Barney moved his leg and reached his hand between them to unbutton his black pants. There wasn’t much wiggle room on the slide but he’d been in tighter spots before. He let his cock spring lose from its confines and he stroked it with his hand, prepping it for another legendary adventure with one of New York’s hottest. He was going to cross off three things on his list tonight. The first being doing it with a Catholic school girl, the second being the super slide, and the third being Robin. He grabbed a condom out of his pocket and slipped it on with the speed of an Olympic hurdler.
He pushed the thong to the side and slipped inside of her. The velvety walls of her pussy clung to him as he started thrusting. It was truly a delicious sin. Robin moaned and wrapped her legs around his waist, digging her Mary Janes into his butt cheeks.
Barney nipped at Robin’s neck, dragging his fake teeth over her pulse point as he hammered against her. Robin whimpered, flashes of her old high school fantasies of getting bitten by Dracula drifting pleasantly around her head.
Barney felt his orgasm course through him and based on Robin’s incessant panting, he knew her big O was close as well.
His climax was short but intense and his seed coated the inside of the latex. He always figured they should invent a condom that didn’t feel so darn gross and sticky afterwards but so far, the condom industry hadn’t jumped on that bandwagon.
Robin reached her climax as well and she bucked upwards in a release of pleasure. Barney grabbed the rails of the slide to keep from flying backwards.
Barney pulled out of her and rolled the condom off, tossing it to the side. He moved off of her and quickly readjusted himself. Robin did the same and tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear.
“We’ve never talking about this to anyone, right?” Barney asked.
“Not likely.” Robin replied.
“But we’re doing this again, sometime?” Barney eyed her curiously, obviously still caught in a lust-filled haze. “Like every Halloween from now until…I find someone better or you lose your figure.”
Robin chuckled and rolled her eyes. “You never will, Stinson. I’m the best there is.”
“Not likely.” Although it wasn’t true. He was about five steps away from declaring his devotion on the altar of her sex goddess-ness but he was trying to restrain himself.
Robin flashed him a grin and pushed her boobs together to create maximum cleavage. “These are never going away.”
Barney smiled. “Wanna go make fun of Marshall and Lily’s costumes?”
“Sounds like a plan.”